Psychological reasons for not being able to get an erection

To have a relationship with a woman where she feels comfortable with you, you need to be receptive to be aware of what’s going on.

However from a male libido point of view and for getting an erection, you need to be the opposite of that. The instigator, the forceful one.

So make sure that psychologically for sex you are that instigator and forceful one, so you get the masculinity and force for an erection. You have to do sex in that way or it just doesn’t work.

If you don’t find her attractive

If you don’t find the woman is attractive you just f*** her, rather than sex or making love. Then it does matter as your job is just to f*** her and it does matter how she looks.

You are not interested in her and how she looks, you are just f***ing.

You are not looking at her and how she looks, you are just f”””ing.

Of course to be nice you do the making love things and are nice and loving to her as that is what women want, but this is for her and not to make you get an erection.

How to not go into the friends zone on a date

When a man is speaking with a woman that he wants to be with as boyfriend/girlfriend, it is very important that a man is romantic, loving, affectionate. The man loves her, gives her love.

The man creates a romantic mood of love, kissing, cuddles, hugs.

This is done with the mood, emotions of the man, how he looks at her and behaves towards her, speaks to her etc. He is a lover.

Woman wants a man that loves them, wants them, wants to look after them, thinks they are incredibly beautiful etc.

Also he must be a man and male for her. He must be nice to the lady and treat her like a lady. However he is a potential boyfriend and must act like that, not like a potential female friend for the lady.

Without this it will just be like friends and the man will be a friend, and not become a boyfriend etc. As he is not a male and that is what the woman wants and is attracted to.

Some guys focus on trying to be the woman’s friend, people want friends like themselves, so he ends up acting in a feminine way. You are not being their friend, you are being their boyfriend, a male.

Of course it’s nice for the woman if you are the male version of them.

Attracting women, what to do on a date

Where to go

The girl loves it if the man has done his homework to find what and where she likes, or will like. It shows he cares about and loves them.

What to do

As long as the lady likes that kind of thing, must feed them, however if just get them drunk it will just get silly and 24 hours later she will forget you. A romantic dinner is a must on the first date to get the lady’s romantic juices flowing.

The lady must see it that love is the man’s first priority.

That you like her

The man must make it really clear that he likes her.  As a result would like to see her again.

This must be done that the man really likes her and would like to see her again.   This must not done in a pressurised taking way, but that he is giving to the girl. He likes her, he is not taking and pushing her around.

So at the end of the day to make it clear  would like to see her again, when you are free and make it as soon as possible, because you really want to see her.

BDSM sex

How to ensure is good for the woman, what she wants

Women like it as it is the man being forceful, assertive, in charge

They do not like it if the man is being nasty, spiteful, hateful,

It is basically a man being a real man, taking control.

Women want the man to do the things to them, be the one doing it.

Women like it when the man:

1, loves the woman and wants to give her pleasure
2, Is doing it because the man wants them, has to have them, has to have sex with them.
3, wants them

So the woman will not like it if 1, 2 & 3 are not there. Such as if the man calls them a bitch, slut, says wants to f**k her etc.

About 25% of women like it, others do it just because they know their man likes it.

It can be a dark thing where the women was abused or raped when younger and they are continuing this habit. This is a bad thing and needs therapy.

For men it can be a way of being aggressive, like how sports are used as a channel to stop actual damaging violence in society.  So it is fine if consenting and does not get out of hand!

Being good at sex (for men)

It is important to hold,, hug, kiss and touch her like you love her.

Breasts and bottom are ergogenic zones that are good to pay more attention to.  She will also love you kissing down the sides and from sides of her neck.

The clitorus should be the last place to touch and lick because it’s very sensitive and not nice for a lady if they are not relaxed, warmed up and  ready for it.

Touch all other parts of her body so the desire grows and only then touch the vagina. Then she can get several clitoris orgasms in a row.

Being masculine

Women when it comes to sex want the man to manhandle them. The man to position them, instigated doing stuff and do the stuff to them. The man is meant to know what the woman wants and do it to her. The man takes charge, dominates the the woman and does the stuff.

Women want the man to be in charge.   However of course it is for the woman to consent to this, or it is rape.   Also it is for the woman to be soft and nurturing with this as that is how it works.

The woman is attracting him, so they want to be so attractive that the man wants them, wants to do stuff to them and cannot resist her.


Sex for women is mostly about being loved and cared for by a man, the man wants to please and love them. So it takes ages to get a woman to want sex, but after lots of showing that you love them, care for them cuddling and so on they will be attracted to you and want sex with you.

To a woman 80% of it is about having a man love them, cuddle them and care for them.  If they have an evening in bed with a man and all they do is cuddle, that is a successful and lovely time.  For a man sadly he just wants to penetrate and put his seed in her, the women will be upset if he says that to her.

The woman wants to feel special which is why they want it to be that the man is monogamous to them and only wanting sex with them. If the man is having sex with other women it means to a lady that she is not special.

If one evening they do not want sex, lots of showing that you love them, then cuddling them, then eventually if they are happy with it gentle caressing and stroking their body to show that you care for them, should turn them on so they want sex.

For women each time they have sex with a man, they feel more and more connected with him. Women want that connection, to feel loved, wanted, intimacy.

They want sex to mean something, deep feelings that the man loves her.

For women it is a special thing, they are letting a man into them, they feel vulnerable and wary to fall in love with the man. The more the man makes love to them, the more they open up and fall in love with him.

Women take time to ‘warm up’

Even if a woman is attracted to a man, they will not want to have sex with him for many weeks, or months until they feel very comfortable with him.

However if they want to have him, they know they will have to have sex with him on the second, or third date to keep him interested. They may do it, in order to get the man for a permanent relationship, even if they do not want to have sex with him so quickly into the relationship.

However once they are warmed up and feel comfortable with a man, they will want sex a lot, possibly even more than the man does.

The more relaxed a woman is with a man, the easier it is for them to have an orgasm and good sex.

Male sex drive

Women want a man who is strong and masculine, with masculine energy. A man needs to be sexual or there is nothing for them ro be attracted to.

Men just want to put that seed into a lady, if sex is 20 seconds it is great for them.

However women like sex to be as long as possible, slow gentle foreplay and so on, for an hour or even more. This will become boring for a man because he just wants to put his seed in her.

The man likes to be forceful and aggressive because that is hard strong masculine energy.

However women are delicate, sensitive and want him to be gentle when having sex with them. They want it to be that as he loves them, he does not want to hurt them.

Women are soft and sensitive, so want to be treated very gently, especially to avoid any pain as they are so sensitive.

Pleasure is receiving gentle caressing and kissing, hard pressing hurts, especially as they are so sensitive in their erogenous zones. Of course it needs to be done in a strong way, from a strong masculine man, or there is no sexual attraction or pleasure.

Remember though to still keep your masculinity and sexuality of being a man, men want to be hard and forceful when they are ‘doing it’ to a lady which is what men sexually are, or it just does work. If men are not true to what are, they cannot work.

Women are soft and nurturing so they want to be treated gently, but if you are not masculine and a man with all your sexual desires and drives, you cannot function as a male. This is because you will have no drive or ability to do sex, because you are not being true to your own sex. So the man will not be masculine, be able to do it and also there will be no masculinity for the lady to be attracted to. A women may want to things from a man, but he must be a man otherwise he will not work. He has to be a man, you have to remember what you want and how you work. As a man you will not have her hobbies and point of view, and if you do, you will probably no longer be a hetra sexual male.

So the woman wants it to be like a wild strong stallion that keeps himself under a degree of control so does not push her around too much, go inside her to quickly, come too quickly and is gentle. This also means that the man can spend time doing foreplay. The women can want foreplay and sex to be for almost an hour before the man comes in side her. The woman wants the man to be doing this because he wants to give her pleasure and loves her.

Inexperienced males will get very excited, so will not be able to hold themselves back self and so will ejaculate too quickly. The male needs to ensure he does not get over excited.

Good sex

Women want a man who has sexual prowess, so must be a consummate lover.

Women want a man who can read the body language of his partner; in nearly every sexual escapade, he knows exactly what his partner needs, even if she doesn’t realise it. This is so the man never needs to stop him to say that what he is doing isn’t working, it is almost always perfect.

So the man never fails to perform, the lady rarely needs to tell him what she wants; he knows.

For a woman, when a man has sex with them, it means that the man finds them special. The woman wants it to be that the man finds her special.

Whole body

Whereas men have less erogenous zones, penis, nipples, anal area, lips etc.

Women have many erogenous zones, in fact they like a man to touch, kiss and caress their entire body and every part of their. This is also because sex us a way for women of being loved and they want it to be that the man loves every part of their body. It is good if the man I can touch more than one place on theur body at once.


On a first date with a man, the kiss is really important to a women, it determines if he is the right man for her and so on.

It needs to be a romance novel kiss like he really loves her.


Girls are only happy with guy touching them once trust them, as sexually the girl is delicate and has to surrender. To trust the man they have to know his personality. Touching is how the electricity happens between a man and a woman.

Of course some ladies trust more quickly than others

After orgasm

If the man gives the woman an orgasm, she will think and feel he is wonderful and fantastic. This feeling of hers will go on for minutes and hours. It is important that the man is still romantic during these times and does not for example talk about football, or his favourite science fiction program as this will kill the romance and so her mood, feelings and thoughts of how wonderful you are.

Kissing (advice for men)

A kiss has to be like it is from a man, so not a little peck like it is from a wood pecker. Pecks are for birds, nobody wants to go out with a bird.

It has to be like the man really wants her as she is so lovely and beautiful, full of passion.

If it is on the lips then a full long kiss like you really want to be there. A french kiss needs to be full of love and psssion.

It is a way of the man communicating to the lady how wonderful and beautiful the man thinks she is and a way of giving her pleasure.

Women find a good kiss from a man romantic, because it is a way of expressing how much he loves her. 

This is why it also has to be done romantically and not like it is a kiss from a friend.

Also scientifically the testosterone in the man’s saliva goes to the ladies mouth and that makes it and him attractive.


A woman does not feel anything in her lower regions for a man unless, she is french kissed. Full on, tongues doing their stuff, your tongue around hers and then your tongue goes around the other way around hers and so on, says Patti Stanger.

A lady may think that a man is not that great, not be interested in him and think he is rubbish, but when he french kisses her, she then thinks that he is amazing and everything changes!

It is important to try and kiss a lady both on the lips and with your tongue on a first date if possible.

Yes a lady may be wary and may not feel comfortable to have sex with a guy until many dates later on, this to check he is serious and they are comfortable with him. However girls like kissing and that is okay on a first date, girls want kissing with lips and tongues, they see it as romantic.

However be careful to not upset or annoy them by trying to go further than kissing if they have not signified or seem that they want this.

Hence the Cher song:
‘If you want to know
If he loves you so
Its in his kiss
(Thats where it is)
Oh, its in his kiss, thats where it is’

A woman does not feel anything for a man unless she is french kissed, tongues going around and doing stuff.

Women love to kiss and do not see it like they are having sex with a man. As a result they can kiss on the first date and kiss loads of times on the second date and it has nothing to do with oral sex or sleeping with a man.

The man will get bored and want to take it to the next level. The girl will want to kiss on and on and on, they will not get bored. For the girl it is romantic and part of the man loving them.

A good kiss:

•Is gentle so they know you love them

•Stong enough with you and how you do it that they get your masculinity, otherwise there is nothing for them as a feminine lady to be attracted to.

•Movement otherwise it is dead and there is nothing going on. Slow movement to so it is pleasurable, but can do fast a bit on occasion to keep it interesting. A kiss where you press your lips against their’s for 10 seconds does nothing, there needs to be movement.

•Variety: lots of different things otherwise it is boring. Your tongue touches and moves around and along, different parts of their tongue. For example touching end of your tongue with the end of theirs. The side of your tongue with theirs.

Needs to be done with the passion that you love the lady and really want her.

A man having long term relationships with a woman

Getting to know the lady as a person

Men when checking out a lady may just look at her breasts and other physical sexual attributes.

However for a relationship to work they have to like them as a person, a friend and companion.

A man wanting to sleep with a lady has nothing to do with if they are compatible for going through life together as assets to each other.

So the man have to look at women as a person, get to know her as a person, see if he finds her interesting as a person and likes her.

This is also as man will only fall in love when he has an emotional connection with a woman.

Without that he will get bored of the woman he is with, or just see another attractive woman and go for her.
Being open

Need to be open to be able fall in love, cannot be closed off.

To fall in love, need the heart, heart shakra to be open, to fall in love.

Need to be open so the lady can get to know the man and who he is. Then for example a man can tell her personal things about himself, his loves, passions, things he wants etc.

Without this cannot experience a lady and fall in love with her.
Giving emotional support

Women want their man to give them emotional support.

When they have a problen they want the man to say they understand how hard it is, sypathise, say how great what they are doing is, be on their side.

Not tell them how to do it, how to solve the problem, unless they ask them for it.

This is because:
●Men are about doing, so tell the lady what should do. A woman may not at that time want that.
●In telling them how to do it, it will in some degree be different from what they are doing and so telling them that they are wrong, be a change, or the woman just wants to do it how they want to do it.

Often the lady just wants the man to listen to their problems, the woman knows it will not solve the problems , but it will make them feel better.

Entertaining the lady

Women want men who are charming, entertaining, and makes them laugh.

They do not want to be with a boring man.

Women want a man that will constantly entertain them, it is something the man provides to the woman.

Need to make sure that the lady is continually entertained. If she is bored with her man, she will dump him.

This is not just about variety in sex life. It is also about going to different places on holiday, different adventurous places, activities, restaurants and all the different kinds of things that she wants to do.

Just because she wanted to do something at one time, does not mean she wants to do the same thing again.

One lady said to me that women themselves don’t even know what they will want to do, it just changes. It is because of women’s hormones and also women work off feelings more than men. Men are more thinking, women are more feeling.

Giving them time attention and intimacy

Most women would like to spend all their time with their man, all of it.

They want a lot of attention and a lot of intimacy.

Things start to go wrong if you ignore them and don’t give them time, attention, affection and intimacy.

They want you to spend a lot of time listening to what they have to say and being emotionally supportive.

For example, when you come in from work, the first thing you do is go and see her, spend time with her and give her attention.

How to have a good marriage that will last

Picking the right partner
Looking at a potential partner as a person, not just sex

When looking for a wife they need to be kind, clever and pretty in that priority order. That is the secret to a marriage that will last a lifetime.

Needs to be someone that genuinely cares about you and is nice to you.

For a man it needs to be a lady that really genuinly does want to look after the man.

It is very easy to men to be ruled by sexual attraction, so to go for someone who is pretty as a first priority. However having a life together is about a relationship that encompasses all of life, buying a home, caring for people when they are sick, children and all of the decisions. So a man needs to get on with his wife like a friend and a valued companion. That is why the first priority is that a man’s wife needs to be kind.

A man can just want to go for the beautiful girl to fall in love with, like diving off a cliff. Need to look at the lady as a person separate from the sexual attraction. Need to look under the surface, what are they really like as a person.
Be okay with being single

A person has to be able to spend time by themselves to find out what they are like as a person and what they are like.

Also if a person cannot cope with being single and being alone, they will pick one of the first people they meet. However they should go on many dates with many people and not just go with one of the first people, as they cannot cope with being single.

Needs to be that you have the same values, so that when make decisions they are the same ones and there is no conflict. For example these may be decisions about:
▪whether to honest, or dishonest
▪pay your taxes or not pay them
▪be polite or be pushy to get ahead
▪the children’s schooling
▪types of holidays, activities and what to do
▪where to live
▪and so on

This is especially as the two people will be living a life together.
The lady really wants you

The man must not lead with his money, status, saying wants to have children etc.

Of course a degree of it is needed for the woman to find the man attractive, but more than a certain amount means that if the man leads with it, the woman probably wants him just for these things and not to have the man himself.

The man should be able to tell if the lady just wants him for these things.

It is very easy in the man’s eagerness for sex or to pull the woman to use these things as his primary bait for attracting the woman. The man finds out what the women wants and offers these things. However with modern divorce laws, the woman can get these things, divorce him and take these things from him to get them, but without him.

So the man needs to be careful that the woman really wants him for just him. He needs to have one the lady over with charm, romance, chivalry and his personality.

Normally split second comments, movements, expressions or gestures done by the lady will in time give the lady’s true intentions away. Intuition and feelings also mean that a man should be able to tell. However the hormones of ‘falling in love’ can cloud a lot of his judgement.

The man may even have to do tests like pretending has lost a lot of money, not wanting to have children, might be loosing his job and not able to get another one etc to be sure.

A man needs to insure that finds a lady who genuinely likes them and wants to take care of them. And lady who is a giving person and not just a taker.

The right person

When dating, the kind of conversation will determine the kind of lady the man gets. If you talk about superficial stuff, he will attract a superficial woman.

The lady also needs to be of a calibre and have interests that will keep him interested and engaged. If for example the man is a university professor, he needs to make sure he goes out with a lady who is of that type and as close as possible to himself. A waitress party girl maybe attractive and fun at first, but building a life together and lack of proper interesting conversation etc. means it will not last.

People do not change

People very rarely change, it takes lifetime, after lifetime after lifetime for people to change even a bit.

Please do not assume that a marriage, relationship, having children etc. will change the person.

Definitely do not go into a relationship to rescue somebody. Can rescue somebody outside a relationship, but then not be dragged down down by having a relationship with them, where they then have power over you and can wreck your life.

Once married
How to treat your partner

A wife needs to realise that if they are going to scream and shout at the man, they will blow out the light of love. This is because the man will associate their wife with being abused and have to put up a barrier to protect themselves from their wife. This of course means that love cannot flow.

People often think that once they are married it gets easier and they do not have to put in so much work anymore. Actually it gets more difficult and one has to put in more work to keep it alive, or the marriage will come to an end.

Marriage is hard, never take each other for granted, keep expressing that you love each other, buying presents and so on.

Even when having problems in life with money, work, dishwasher breaking down etc. Still need to spend time and energy doing fun things, giving thoughtful things to each other. Need to still show the lady how much you love her, be romantic etc.

A relationship is also ever changing, moving on and developing, is not just something that is created and stays the same.

Need to be careful is not just sexual attraction, need make sure you get on as friends. The sexual attraction can blind a person from judging if the other person is nice as a person and someone they actually get on with as a friend. You need to feel comfortable and happy with each other.

Great sex is also of course important.

Needs to be someone you have things in common with.

Need to listen to the lady, she may say that the man is not doing enough and she may (or may not) be right.

Ultimately it only works if each person cares about the other and this is not just a sex thing.

They also have to value a partnership to go through life with and companionship and this is also not just a sex thing.

Compromise is also important, but as in all things, there are good and bad compromises.

The man puts the lady first

It is very easy for a man to stop putting the lady first. He may start putting work trips, social and other things before seeing her. Maybe even meaning they organise things such as when and where to do things. The lady will see this as not putting her first and will end a marriage.

So once married need to ensure still spending loads of time with your wife, or are being a bad husband.


This section is what I learned from ‘Science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits’.
The Atlantic, Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic. It was also in Business Insider Magazine.

Interest in and support with in the other, who they are, what they do etc. Have to fulfil partner’s need for this.

Helps get trust and intimacy, which makes them more emotionally and so physically comfortable.

Otherwise deteriorates into fear of the other person and so aggression.

Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship. Do they bring kindness and generosity; or contempt, criticism, and hostility?

Must scan the partner for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. So building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.

Must scan the partner for what the partner is doing right, respecting them and expressing appreciation.

People need to make their partner feel worth a lot, visible and valued.

Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.

There’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.

In some people, the kindness ‘muscle’ is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. A person has to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.

Need to be kind even when you are tired, stressed, or distracted, life is hard. Also even if in a fight with your partner.

If angry, say to partner why you are angry, because of what has happened to you, so they understand why you are angry, not just attack them.

A bad sign is if a couple cannot be happy together, shared joy, when one of them has a success. When one person says their good news, the other should stop what is doing and engage wholeheartedly with them, congratulating them and asking more about it.

Neglect creates distance between partners and breeds resentment in the one who is being ignored.


Need to be tolerant that you and your partner can be very different people, with different values, ideas, characteristics, natures etc.

This is fine as what matters are things that are important, examples are that they are loyal, will look after you etc.

Chasing and wooing the lady

The worst thing that a man can do is take the woman for granted, this can easily happen as the relationship goes on and on.

The man thinks he has her now and how does not have to put any effort and she will just stay around anyway. This can especially happened once married a think now have the person.

However the fairy tale for a girl is the man who loves the girl so much that will do anything for her, give her gifts and will do anything for her to be happy. The man loves her so much he is continually working out what new things and different he can do for her and does them. So the man man must do this everyday, otherwise for the girl it the feelings for him dies. Then the girl gets resentful at what a useless man she has.


Some people stop having a relationship with someone because they get bored.

However what about being at peace with someone?

They are actually stopping the relationship because they miss the adrenaline rush and excitement of chasing the person.

Stopping a relationship for this reason is self sabotage.

Keep it going

When you first meet there’s the loving connection.

Then it starts to get hard as you don’t have the same sexual interest in each other that you did when things were new, you can start to get bored with each other. Life can be difficult and you can get annoyed by things which can affect the relationship.

You have to make sure you don’t lose your temper and succumb to these things

So you keep being affectionate with your partner and appreciating them. Without this it will fall apart.

What women want

Women are not as driven by looks as men.

Women want:

▪A man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.

A man loving them, makes them feel good and beautiful. The man does things for them because he loves them, become she is so wonderful.

▪The king of the jungle. Like the lion is the king of the jungle.

▪A man who is good in bed.


Girls do not want arrogant men. They want sweet, nice, kind and still masculine.

What women do not want

Freaks: guys who are into wierd stuff in their views and opinions, what they do, sex life and so on.

Nerds: guys who are ugly both in looks and behaviour, without skills such as courage, emotional intelligence, social skills and so on.

Playboys: men who just want to sleep with them, then as have no interest in a relationship will move on to another lady. Women of very wary of this and will do all they can to tell if a man is like this. For example women will make sure the man is really interested in them as a person, wants to spend time with them, does lots of things and so on before letting the man have sex with them.

Of course women want it to be that the man is turned on by them, attracted to them and really wants to have sex with them. However if the woman is not ready and comfortable to have it at that occasion, so early in the relationship, or the man does not also want a relationship with them and to be with them as a person. Then the woman feels cheap and used.

Other things women want

A man who is smart, this is both so they can be a good provider and so that they can stimulate the lady.

A man who is smart so can give them advice and who is right most of the time, but is not arrogant about it.

A man who is totally devoted to them.

A lot of women want a man who will look after them financially and emotionally. As the man is masculine he can be a rock that is fine through all sorts of emotional weather they may be going through. He can listen to them, support them, be there for them and will not get blown over. Whatever happens he will be there to support them, remain stable and okay. Many men think they have to show off, in fact they just have to be a strong, stable and there for the woman. With the man there, they will be okay.


This basically stems from loving them.

You hold that hands, you look at them like you love them, are gentle with them, have loving feelings towards them and all the things that express and show affection.

To women this is more important than sex, affection is really important.

The dynamics of male and female

Feminine energy is beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, fun, and so on. However it needs the masculine energy to be able to protect it so it can do and be these things.

So a woman will look for a secure man that will give them this security and protection, so they can be the best possible feminine energy.

If during the relationship the man doesn’t give them the security, such as being, a pushover, temperamental, unreliable, feeble, timid, and so on, then they will do not feel secure and they will leave the relationship.

The feminine may even come up against the masculine, try to push it around, test it and even push it around. Here the masculine must provode boundaries, so it can still provide security for the woman.

Of course the masculine needs to protect the woman, so she can be beautiful, wonderful and express her feminine energies.

Approaching women

Approaching women in public places

Men who ‘hunt and fish’ are the ones who get.

If it is a place where men do not approach women such is on the train, bus, pavement, or shopping centre. It is essential that the woman feels safe.

It is what you do, how you say things, which is more important than the words you say.

Your opening line must not be about or relate to anything personal to them, or about anything they own. If you go up to them and say anything about a personal possession they have such as an electronic item, or their handbag, they will run away for fear you will want to steal it. This may sound obsessive, but even a mention of a personal possession, leads to an area that leads to this subject matter where there is this fear.

Even a joke that you are not a stalker or something, no matter how silly will trigger a fear as it is even being mentioned as a thought or possibility. So never go anywhere near such a thing, or even joking about it.

How to start

What you do is the most important, more than what you say. It is also how you say it, more than the words themselves This shows what you are and how you are.

Can start just by looking at the woman giving her love, she will see that you love her, think she is beautiful and if you have the right feelings then she will pick that up as well. You are giving her love.

She will notice you and from this, she may be interested and even look back.

If it is a public place and you are a stranger, she may not look back at you and express her interest. Then you may have to start talking to her for a while she she discoverers that you are not a weirdo and are okay.

Give not take, serve the lady

You give love, showing through body language, feelings and emotions, how much you love her. You really have to have and generate those feelings, cannot fake it.

To do this the man has to serve the woman, without thinking of what is going to get back.

If the man is thinking about what he will get back, such as if the woman will like him or anything selfish, then the free flow of love does not happen. For example if the man is not wanting complments back, or the lady to have to communicate how great he is.

If the man is worrying about what he gets back it is the same.

If this happens, the man is wanting something from the lady, which is not so interesting or nice for the lady.

It can also lead to an existance, feel, or look of forcefulness from the man that he wants something back which is also not nice for the lady.

Focus on the giving, not the reward.

It must be the man is giving and the lady to give back only if she wants to, but not because the man has asked for it.

The man needs to be focused on serving the lady and what she gets. He does this because he loves her and cares about her.

It must be okay for the lady if the man loves her and lady does not love man back, she is not forced into anything. The lady has received the compliment that she is lovely, wonderful, beautiful, that the man really likes her and will like that.

There is no threat as the man does not want anything, the lady is just receiving.

Of course it is open for the lady to give back if she wants to and of course the man would like that.

A lady will always like a man who says she is lovely, beautiful and communicates this with feelings and truth, for a lady it is the ultimate compliment. Ladies love compliments about how beautiful and lovely they are.

If it is just words saying this, but the man is actually just take the lady can tell this. To do this it needs to be that the man has a good soul, heart and is genuinely sincere.

The man is giving love

The man who cannot feel, angry or negative anything like that. The lady will then get those negative emotions, even if the man is trying to cover it up. She will respond badly to the man as she will become angry and negative conceiving energies, also she not be nice back out of revenge for her having been received those nasty energies.

If the man is happy, full of love and giving love, the lady will herself become full of love, be happy and also cannot help like a man for giving her those energies.

If the man has negative energies and tries to cover it up by smiling, it will not matter. It is what is really happening underneath that matters.

Immediate love

It must be the man thinks she is beautiful, wonderful, amazing, fantastic as soon as he sees her.

The man is overwhelmed by how wonderful and amazing she is. The man is not distracted by, or thinking about anything else.

It must be not be that when he first sees her, does not really notice her, think she is amazing or looks elsewhere. The lady wants to think that he really loves her and this must not be tarnished. This is because in nature the woman needs the man to love her so he will hunt, fight and protect for her. If this is not perfect then he will not do that and she will feel insecure. A look that is less than being in awe of her, will be seen by her as a moment of doubt not love from the man, or disinterest and make her less interested in the man.

The man has to be in awe and amazement of her and cannot have moments which take away from that.

So it is from how the man feels, looks at her, facial and bodily expressions, tones of voice and so so that he really loves her.


This is a huge deal to a lady. Women want a man that wants to make love to them, pushes them up against the wall and kisses them, because he wants them so much.

However consent is a woman’s biggest power, the ability to say and express no.

Never go anywhere near even close to not letting a woman have consented to say no and always give her the consent for you to do, or not do things.

Always have it when going up to women and in all stages of your relationship, that the woman chooses if she gives her consent and so you only do things with her consent.

This is both because for women this is their power and they enjoy that. Also women have it as their own self defence.

Doing things without consent is rape and women go so far away from this line with good reason. Women are very cautious because of the history and vulnerability men raping women so much. It is important in a relationship to always have it there, he only does it uf she gives her consent, or it will never happen!

Valuing the lady

Women do not want to feel like the man is just hunting, like the man and woman are just animals, flesh and the man is just marking out their territory.

A woman wants to be valued as a beautiful being and have a man who loves them and makes love to them.


At the beginning going up to a girl in a public place, she naturally and justifiably will be suspicious of a stranger.

Need to deliver your lines with confidence and see it through without giving up. So eventually get to a point where they see you are not just some creepy guy, but are okay.


The primary reason why men do not often go up to women in public and women may not like it. Is because of safety.

The girl rejecting or repulsing the man because they do not feel safe, as the man is a stranger.

It is important for men to remember, that when women go in tonight clubs, they are often groped, touched and so on with men put their hands on them. This makes women especially cautious and concerned.

At all points, the man should always make sure the women feels she has a route to go away from you, you are not within reaching distance so cannot touch them. The woman also has an easy escape route to easily get away from the man and go away.

The man should always give them an out of a way of ending the conversation, for example expressing that they understand if they are busy and want to read a book or something.

The man may feel that this will make the woman end the conversation, but because she has a way out, she feels safe, so will be more likely and happy to do it and continue speaking with you, because she has this way of getting out of it.

Woman from a safety point of view, want it that the man is looking to see if they are interested and will leave them alone if they want to be left alone. Women though often expect the man just to know though, even if they do not communicate anything, so the man has to be very aware.

It needs to be the girl speaks with the man, because the man is a good opportunity for her, not because she in any way feels forced to. The man is giving to her, not taking to her.

Then she can stop if she would like to, This is not just moral, but if she has the freedom and it is her choice, she will enjoy and want to talk with you more.

Girls like it when men show how much they like them, are flirtatious and affectionate. This may seem girly and boring to guys, but it is what women want. Women like cuddles, affection, romance, kissing etc., men often do not do this enough as they find this boring and just want sex.

Men may want to have sex here and now, but women often just want to have fun, talk, dance and joke. They just like it that the man wants to be with them all the time. That is why woman want a man with a personality, who is fun and interesting.

When this is done over a long period of time, the girl will relax, want the man and get the girl turned on, so she will and soft and want to have sex with a man.

When the woman wants to have sex with the man, they want it to be that the man cannot resist them, but as women are very emotional, they want it to be only when they want to have sex.

They do not want to have the interference of a man wanting to have sex with them, when they do not want sex. Doing it when they do not want sex will repel them.

However women always like flirtation, affection, love, hugs and kisses.

The compliment

Women want to be beautiful, perceived as beautiful. Women put a huge amount of energy and effort into achieving this, it is very important to them.

If man thinks expreses love towards her, that she is incredibly beautiful.
That in itself is something that will be interesting to the lady.

The man does not even verbally have to say anything, just look at her like she is incredibly beautiful and express love for her.

She will love that.

Women not being seductive to the man

With some women they often may not express that they want a man, but subconsciously they really do. This is because they may expect the man to be interested in them so much, that the man knows what the woman wants. They expect the man to do everything for them and they have to do nothing. They are then of course disappointed and upset when the man has not approached them.

This can be because they are just selfish and feel overly entitled, so did you not do anything.

It can also be because their first male role model of their father, did everything for them and they had to do nothing, so they are replicating that.

That is why the man may find that when they have done nothing, the woman no longer wants to talk with them or is unhappy with them. It is because the man has not done anything.

According to nature, it should be that the man goes up to the woman and chases them. The the women wants this however it is the women that make themselves attractive so the man is attracted to them. Of course if the woman does not want this, the man should go away.

Women who are clever will use body language, be open etc., to show the man that if he comes up to them, he will be successful.


Women are always being careful and cautious to make sure the man is not a creep.

Men may say that they are a model scout and they could be a model and all that rubbish. They are the look out for tricks that men may use.

So it needs to be that a man wants to spend time with her, for her to see if she is right for him. There are no tricks.

Basically that the man really cares about her and wants to spend time with her and be with her.

Then women over time will test to ensure that the man really does care and wants to be with her.


Men out of ego may want to show off to the girl, impress her and so on.

This can lead to him showing off, for example that he has a big car and so on. All this is of no interest to the girl as she probably has no interest in cars, also him showing off is just for him and not for her.

The women is interested in what he does for her and will do for her. She wants a man who listens to her, what she has to say, not a man that talks about himself.

So the man has to be looking at serving and elevating the girl, not just lifting up himself. He only lifts himself up, in order to better able to be great for her.

Be nice and respectful

Women want it that the man is nice to them, he says ‘hi’, asks how they are and treats them nicely.

You talk with them and show your personality.

Doing dodgy weird tricks to approach and talk to them just makes you look dodgy and weird.

The worst thing is ‘cat calling’ where the man just shouts something like saying they’re sexy, whistles at them, or says something in a foul and disrespectful way. That’s just the man selfishly wanting things because he’s horny.

Women want romance, so if you’re going to talk about sex at the start using vulgar words it won’t go down well.

Women want romance, so be romantic, although of course still need to be masculine.