To win need to focus on doing things properly, not on winning.

If a person focuses on winning they do not do things properly and so not win.

Focusing on winning makes a 101 things go wrong. The person gets stressed, rushes things, works through strength and not skill, not have right mental view and so on.

The person does not worry and so focuses on exactness.

So need to focus on doing things properly and let the technique guide you through to winning.

This is is the same for all things, fighting, building a business etc.

In Zen this is called focusing on the job and not the reward. The person’s thought, focus and energy goes into doing the job and is not wasted dreaming and thinking about the reward. So the person is 100% efficient.

Good writing is about more than words, it is knowing how to communicate.

Making things easy to understand.

A person putting themselves in somebody else and where they are.

Knowing what to omit.

Ability to think clearly.

Writing what is easy for your reader, not what is easy for you.

Share information that is genuinely valuable, then will get a loyal audience that regularly comes back by itself to see what you have to say.

Writers who are more concerned with the equipment and gadgets they use to produce their work, more than what they actually produce, normally produce nothing of value, as they have nothing to say.

(The above was learned from the book ‘Getting Real’, by 37 Signals)

A person never knows if they really understand it, until have to explain it to someone else.

Life is simple, things can be put in one sentence. If not, the person does not understand it, or does not want other people to.

A writer should only write when they have something to say which is if value to others.

Entertaining people

This is written about the average person, of course each individual is different.

Most people read for entertainment, not to learn. That is even so when they read the news. So even learning things have to be entertaining. This can be done with stories, anecdotes, jokes and metaphors.

People do not want to be bothered to read long things, so they have to be short, snappy and amusing. Even long articles need to be broken up into separate sections, each with different titles, icons, images, layouts and so on, to make each section different, fun and short.

Speak to the audience like they are your best friends. So for each person is like the entertainer talking to them and the show is just for them.

People want to see life and energy, so do and be that.

Do the entertainment with the audience, not at the audience. Of course the audience does not have to do anything.

After each performance, look at it, as always can do better. Then next time, do better. If want to be a good entertainer, will never be satisfied with how you have done. Otherwise will never be a great.

Always be original, yes it means you a different to other performers, but that is needed, otherwise there is nothing new and the audience will be bored by the same old thing.

With stage fright abd being nervous, remember that the audience wants you to be good at entertaining them. So wants you to be good.

Comedy

For comedians they want to see a jester, like the old court jester. The jester is the fool and idiot, they want to see somebody who is nice but dim and stupid. By laughing at them and what happens to them, they feel that the people in the audience are better than them, and that is what they like. They feel like they are winners and superior.

To be funny, the comedian has to feel funny. That is actually funny feelings, not just believe that he/she is funny. However need to be careful not to hurt or damage yourself.

Need to learn the trade, how to read audience facial expressions, how to play a theatre.

Things in life are actually very simple.

Life itself and how it works is actually very simple.

For example the masters of physics theory could put their theories into one sentence.

For example Hook’s law ‘Every equal load on a spring, causes ab equal extension, until it reaches it’s elastic limit’

If a person writes more than a sentence to say how something works, then they do not know what they are talking about.  So if a person has to write a whole book on something instead of a sentence,  they do not know what they are doing.

It means they cannot tell what the real answer is, so have loads of rubbish in there as well as do not know what is the bit that really matters.

In business, normally it just needs 5 or  less simple measurements to see what is going on in a business .

People make can also make things complicated to show that they are clever.  They try to make it so others will not understand, for example by using complicated and less common words, when this us not needed.

People also often want to think something is a certain way, or choose a solution because it is clever.  However the reality and best solution is normally very simple, unexciting, boring and not entertaining.

It actually takes work and intelligence to make things simple.

They make it complicated so out of their own pride they can think they are clever and to show off they are clever on front of others.

They also do it to create jobs for themselves by making it complicated so others cannot do it, or people feel they have to be paid a lot as  only very clever and hard to find highly skilled people can do the job.

So if a person explains something in a complicated way, either they do not understand it, or they do not want others to.

Being overly indulgently intellectual

Having a good intellect is important. Just like a muscle, it needs to be used and challenged so it grows.

However just like a physical challenge, an intellectual challenge can be intoxicating and something to show off. So the more complicated it all is, the more intellectually challenging it is. This can lead to a person wanting to create complicated solutions abd pretend the problem is complicated for fun of it, when a simple solution is closest to reality.

The best answer to a problem might be simple and mundane, but that is not something that shows off how intellectually clever the person is and so is not glamorous.

Also by being very intellectual, without also experiencing and being aware of life, can lead to complicated concepts that bear no relation to reality

Right in front of us

The answer can be right on front of us, staring at us, telling us, and we think that it is too obvious, simple and easy. However that can be the answer.

Life is simple, we just make it complicated.

Morals

Morally every creature has a right to defend itself and use force to do so.

However a creature does not have a right to take things from others.

Good people protect good people from bad people.

Bad people take things from good people.  It can be subtle, like insulting somebody to lower or take things away from them, so the bad person is then relatively better than the victim.

So need to love good and hate evil.  Must realise though that evil is part of the one and so self, because all is one.  However if evil, for the sake of the whole, it still has to reform itself or go.

Ways to win

Only start or go into a fight if you know you will win.

Never act out of spite

Never act out of revenge, old chinese proverb, someone who goes out for revenge should dig a grave for themselves as well as the other person.

Justice is fine as it is for others, not for yourself.  Karma happens naturally from God, everything has consequences. It is especially needed if a person will not accept they have done wrong, so that they learn the lesson that they should not do it.  It is fine if it is deserved by the person who has done wrong, but not if there are mitigating circumstances.

Emotions

Need to have courage and bravery, this is an emotion as well as an intellectual concept.  That is why people who are not aware of their emotions cannot do it.

To fight need to get angry and hate what need to destroy.  This is because they are emotions and feelings about destruction. This also helps get past the fear of not wanting to hurt oneself.

A lot of this content comes from the website ‘Modern Male Lifestyle’, I just added my own experiences and a spiritual dimension which I believe is needed to make it work.

Alpha males are the ones at the top of the pack, they have power; status, strength, fame, money and are top of the political hierarchy.

Beta males: those lower down or at the bottom of those hierarchies.

What gets someone to be an alpha male:

This all tends to come from being moral as the male gets it for the sake of God and the people he is serving. As a result he receives, gets to appreciate and understand about the following.

Courageous, wise, strong, power and everything in life working out.

Do what is right even if others disapprove, this is because they have courage and self esteem.   They are not dependent on wanting approval from others.

Take responsibility and calculated risks, they do not expect or want others to take ir for them.  As a result they can do what is right and not just follow the herd and just do what they are told.

Self esteem, confidence, secure in themselves, what they are and do.

What gets someone to be a beta male

This all tends to come from being selfish as the male does not deserve to have the following things as he is not doing things sake of God and other people.

Coward, stupid, weak powerless and nothing works

Is so desperate for and dependent on the approval of others, will do things so that others like him, approve of him even if they are ultimately wrong for him and for others.  They have low self esteem so desperately need to be loved and admired by others.

Do not take responsibility and calculated risks, want others to take it for them.  As a result they do not do what is right and just follow the herd, or just do what they are told.

Low esteem, lack of confidence, insecure

 

Examples

Beta male: Makes excuses. Every time there’s something he can’t do, he has an excuse, and feels like he needs to explain it to those around him.

Alpha male: Never puts the blame on someone else. He always faces his obstacles head on regardless of the odds of success. He never complains about problems, but works to find solutions to them. If there is something he doesn’t want to do – as opposed to can’t do – he offers no explanation, he has self esteem and courage so does not have to justify himself to others for their approval.

Roller coasters? Nah, thats’ not me. Let’s do something cool instead.

Tip: Be on the lookout for the phrase:  “I can’t do this because…” You don’t make excuses. Not only to other people, but especially yourself. When there is blame to go around – blame yourself for your failures. Why? Because you are acknowledging that you take responsibility and so have the power. – if you are the reason something is not being done, then you fix it. The mindset that evolves is that you take responsibility not only your shortcomings, but your successes.   (Please do remember your place though in the hierarchy, God is and the higher words are ultimately in control and in charge of everything)

Beta male: Needs affirmation from others. Is obssessed with how others think of him.

Alpha male: Will listen to what others think as can cope with other people’s honest opinions, even when they are not in his favour.  He will however then do what he think is right even if others do not approve.   He does not do things so that other people think more of him as he wants that. This makes him very attractive as he is not dependent on others for approval and so controlled by them.
Simply be confident about how others perceive you. You will act accordingly. Anyone who looks down on you is either for a reason you listen to, agree with and resolve, or you do not care what they think as doing what they think is a road to ruin as they are wrong, or they are jealous, and also not worth your time. You do not have time for people who are counter-productive to your self-improvement or being effective.

Beta male: Talks fast, always seems to be nervous or in a rush.

Alpha male: Talks slowly, and in deeper tones. His movements are smooth. Translation: You are in control of your life.  (The person just does what is right, but God is ultimately in control and determines what happens and if things succeed of fail.   Also you are just one of 6 billion people on the planet, without these perspectives you will become a monster)

Tip: Before you walk in anywhere – catch yourself. Slow down – catch your breath and then make it look like you are walking through water.  This speed is caused by the fear, panic and stress of wanting to have things now and not wanting to loose things.

As stated earlier, begin to create an image of smoothness and you will naturally start to become smoother. You are in control, you have emotions but you also have self control.

Beta male: Lives life by the day not really knowing what he wants. Will waste time on the couch, rather than doing something productive. He is lazy and passive.

Alpha male: Lives life passionately, passion in anything is essential for anything to be successful.  Not the selfish passion of wanting something selfishly, but the emotion and passion to do good and do good things for others and God. . He has goals – and is focused on his goals and dreams and tears down any barriers in-between.

Tip:  You must find a goal you want to achieve, or create one. Even if it’s simply to get better with women. Have something that when those “lay on the couch” moments present themselves, you can say, “I will do something to work toward my goal of ________ instead.”  Without an exact aim, things cannot succeed.

Beta male: Gives up when he fails. Sees no point in trying and is fearful of facing failure again.

Alpha male: Failing at anything is only a mistake if you do not learn from it. Repeating failed behavior is insane – learning from failed behavior and trying something new is alpha. So the alpha is courageous and not just reliant on habits, routines and traditions. Failure is only a minor setback to you. When you are moving forward by trying something new, you will be unlikely to get it right first time and need many many attempts at different ways to find the best – and second, the sooner you can learn from his mistakes and succeed.  No mistakes means not doing anything new, differently and trying new and better ways to do things

Tip: If what you are doing (like, with women for example) isn’t working, you must be open to try something new. This always feeds your adventurous side – something women love.

Beta male: Uses the word, “sorry” a lot – even when it doesn’t belong in the conversation. He apologises to others because he feels he might have offended them somehow. Others are his cruel master and mistresses and he is scared of them and he is lower down the social hierarchy.

Alpha male: Will not apologise for his desires and beliefs. alphas do apologise, but only when they truly believe they should.  They are in charge and control. They do not try and make other wrong people feel better in ways that are not justified or deserved, in order to be liked.

Betas may for example put themselves down or saying sorry for things they did not do, just so the other person undeservedly feels they are superior as they think that the alpha person is crap.

The beta will not try and gain the approval of evil people, because this means doing wrong as that is what evil people want them to do and will approve of. The alpha male knows that is a road to ruin. Also evil people will approve of the beta male if he allows the evil people to take from them. This could be all kinds of taking, even the beta allowing evil people to mock them which is of course taking their dignity.

The alpha will lift others up as high as possible, so others feel great about themselves. However they will not put themselves down to make others feel better. Normally a beta does this to be liked, or for attention. It is not positive and is just feeding evil people who want others to be worse off and destroyed.

The world is one and the alpha knows that putting himself down is not constructive to the whole world. Lifting others up is constructive and creative to the whole world.

The alpha sees the world is one, so is happy for others when they succeed. He does not need others to be worse than him to think he is better in relative terms. When others are worse off it makes him sad, the world is one so the other person is the same Self.

This is especially effective as a compliment from a successful person such as an alpha, means more than if it came from a failed person.

Beta male: Believe it or not – he has a big ego. But it backfires on him because he is too sensitive and insecure regarding everyone’s opinion of him. So he constantly is trying to prove himself by qualifying – or stating his qualifications.

Alpha male: Never feels like he must prove himself. His ego is his ally. Here is the truth: Big egos are a result of low-esteem. A man who is truly confident in himself never needs to lash out at someone who insulted his ego.

Beta male: Always searching for approval and attention.

Alpha male: Does not seek attention – and therefore always gets it. But know that you can always be the most powerful presence in any room or situation. Why? People need to be led as they want others to take responsibility for them and do not want to take any risks. That’s why leaders are few as not many want to take responsibilityand any risks, followers are many as so many do not want to take responsibility and any risks.

Tip – Don’t selfishly feel the need to entertain a room full of women with displays of this and that. Betas are often clamouring for attention yet can never get enough  – and alphas never want attention yet get too much.
In a room with a bunch of beta males and a bunch of girls you will notice how the girls respond to the alpha. He’s calm and laid back – the girls all turn their heads to him.

Beta male: Will never admit to his faults and mistakes.

Alpha male: Is not afraid to face his faults and overcome his failures. Admission is the first step to solving a personal setback or problem.

Beta male: Gets jealous really easily when he sees his girl talking with another guy.

Alpha male: Is supremely confident in his ability and status. If his girlfriend is talking to other guys, he goes to talk with everyone. He knows that life is about giving and not about taking from others

Beta male: Easily blows his stack. He loses his temper when someone else criticises him or when a girl disrespects him.

Alpha male: Is a complete picture of cool. He is angry so that he has powerful emotions, but also never loses his composure. If something upsets him, he shows his disapproval of it without getting mad or whining.

Tip: If someone tries to get you into a fight, simply leave. Don’t react emotionally. It’s on them and one has control over you or your mood.

Beta male: If he loses his girl, he loses all hope in life and thinks that he cannot live without “the one” – her.

Alpha male: If a woman leaves an alpha, he simply loves that there are thousands of other girls just as good or better than the girl who dumped him. His life is not centered around one girl, and he has no problem moving on.

Beta male: Did he take a shower? Did he get dressed in the dark? It’s like he is always messy, dirty, or poorly groomed.

Alpha male: Is always dressed welland groomed well. He has superior etiquette. Think: James Bond.

Tip: When you know you took the time to look better, you are happier and thus exude more confidence.

Beta male: Is afraid to meet new people.

Alpha male: Is ready to meet new people.

Beta male: Poor body language – slouches. He stands and sits uncomfortably, as if he is nervous.

Alpha male: Takes up the space he needs whenever he sits down or rests. Is in control of his getting his needs. Nothing surprises or startles him as he has courage and is prepared for things.

Beta male: Looks to quickly get into a relationship, as if he is desperate for a girlfriend.

Alpha male: Is not only not desperate for women, he is never desperate for anything. When you are not desperate for women’s attention or affection, it’s implied that you have plenty of it – which puts you at ease, and excites women.

Beta male: Is a pushover with women. He is willing to commit to a woman as soon as they give him the greenlight.

Alpha male: Does not let a woman push him about and rule his life so that he is no longer his own person Ever.

Beta male: Becomes wide-eyed when he sees someone do something, like he has never seen that before.

Alpha male: Act like you’ve been around in the world before, are experienced and not innocent.  Of course is still affectionate and respectful of others.  Lifts them up as they are so great as he is a giving person.

Beta male: Women are his number one priority.

Alpha male: He does what is right and does not let women rule his life if it goes against this.

Self control

Alpha male: Has all their emotions running whether it be anger, stress, sadness etc and uses them as they are energy and important.  As a result he has powerful emotions as they are fostered, cared for and left to run.  He can face and live with painful emotions.  However the person is always in control of themselves, has self control and can control his feelings if needed.  A person cannot control others, unless he can first control themselves.

Beta male: has weak emotions and feelings, is scarred of them and may even oppress them.  Cannot face and take painful emotions and feelings.   When a strong emotion comes along, it carries him away and he has no self control. Also when emotions come along he is swayed by them and has no self control.