How to not eat unhealthy comfort foods

It’s very easy when you have an unpleasant emotion to reach for comfort food such as cheese or anything else that’s fatty. As these things can give you short comfort in the way that something like eating a nut won’t.

Of course in the long run comfort food will lead to health problems and not feeling so good.

The most unpleasant emotion is often caused by doing something wrong, such as excessive attachment or just doing something that is not benevolent.

The nicest and most lovely emotions come from doing something that’s morally good, such as a good job for someone.

When you have a negative emotion, instead of reaching for comfort food, do something good instead, as that is where the good emotions come from, it’s like internal process of being given manna from heaven.

However don’t actively want or be attached to getting good feelings from above, that is also selfishness that doesn’t go well.

Of course ultimately you should do things because they’re right and you care about others, but this just goes to show how spirituality really works.

By being a good person, good things happen and things work.

Psychological reasons for not being able to get an erection

To have a relationship with a woman where she feels comfortable with you, you need to be receptive to be aware of what’s going on.

However from a male libido point of view and for getting an erection, you need to be the opposite of that. The instigator, the forceful one.

So make sure that psychologically for sex you are that instigator and forceful one, so you get the masculinity and force for an erection. You have to do sex in that way or it just doesn’t work.

If you don’t find her attractive

If you don’t find the woman is attractive you just f*** her, rather than sex or making love. Then it does matter as your job is just to f*** her and it does matter how she looks.

You are not interested in her and how she looks, you are just f***ing.

You are not looking at her and how she looks, you are just f”””ing.

Of course to be nice you do the making love things and are nice and loving to her as that is what women want, but this is for her and not to make you get an erection.

Psychological pain

A lot of pain comes from emotional trauma as a child. You repeat the pattern in different ways but it all comes from the same thing.

Invite the pain in, sit with it and ask it what you can learn from it. What does it want?

Make sure you don’t do a relationships just to get validation of yourself and escapism from yourself, as then you weren’t truly connecting with somebody and have intimacy.

Become aware of your psychological pain, this will help guide you through your life of knowing what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing.

You may be doing something that on the physical level gives you pleasure, but if you look at your psyche it’s causing your pain.

This is a great way to know what you really should be doing.

How con artists work and get away with it

People get so excited they don’t even look deeper at what’s real.

The salesperson encourages people to dream about the product, then people in their greed don’t look at what’s really there.

As a result it’s only possible to cheat a greedy person, as an person won’t get so excited by greed that they don’t look properly into it.

A greedy person would also be so greedy that they justified themselves that is real, even when it isn’t.

Commiting suicide

Some people want to commit suicide because they feel huge amounts of shame.

This is often because they were taught to do things in their formative years, such as maintain a family business and they failed.

As they are not doing or achieving what the tribe says they should be, they are ashamed.

It shows how big pride is from doing what the tribe tells them they should be achieving.

Being engaging with an audience

Engaging people is about energy, whether it’s your movement, emotions feelings, and so on. These are just ways of conveying and giving energy. You need to have lots of energy as that’s what people want.

When you get it right, you are giving so much it’s almost like putting on a dance or spectacular for people.

You mustn’t be at all uncomfortable as then you will make the audience uncomfortable. You can do many bad things on stage, but that is the worst one that is unforgivable as it will repel people.

You mustn’t think about yourself, or how you were coming over, this is ego. If you think about yourself, what people think of you, what they are thinking about how you look and so on, you will become defensive.

If you are being defensive then you cannot openly put all into pleasing the audience.

You have to listen to the audience and please them. Then if they are pleased you will be engaging them.

The audience is interesting, has their lives, and each person has different needs and wants, you must listen to the audience.

If you are interested in what you are doing, other people will be as well. You must have a passion, energy and enthusiasm about what you’re doing. You must also be really excited about it, so they are too.

You also have to sell it, if you think it’s brilliant, other people will as well. You have to behave and be like what you are doing is brilliant.

You also have to be happy, people like to be with people who are happy.

You also behave like you love the person, nothing is too much trouble, you would do anything for them as you love them so much.

Being entertaining is also important, people love to be entertained, such as by telling jokes. If you are boring then nobody wants to be with you.

It’s about life, being alive, having fun.

Whatever it is, even if it’s boring, you can make it fun. Bring in dancing, music, jokes, be fun and all kinds of fun stuff.

All these things also make you charming as people want to be with you.

You have to be honest, bleeding your heart out, say the honest truth of who you are (eg. even if you are not a great person, lonely, scared to death).

You have to bare your soul, not pull any punches, be authentically you. Do not pretend to be better or more talented than you are, just be raw. Then when other people cry, you will cry and have a real human connection that is not scary and it feels good. Then people will be good to you.


Steve Martin said of his stand up act.

“When I first started, I decided to fake confidence, because I thought it was important that they sensed I believed. If I was slightest bit nervous about something they could smell it and then they would become judges. If I was the slightest bit nervous about something they could smell it, and they would be

But if I was confident, it’s like “I don’t care what you think.” That worked “I don’t care what you think.”

Lots of energy for the audience

You have to have lots of energy for the audience, it’s what people want.

Before your performance, make sure you have lots of energy and have it to give and put into things

To have lots of energy, relax, dance, sing whatever you have to do to energize yourself and be happy.

Being passionate about it is contagious

Joe Rogan says he’ll watch somebody doing all kinds of subjects if they’re passionate about it as that is contagious.

It’s great to watch people who are interested in things, fascinated and in love with what they’re doing.

People who are smiling with their whole face about something.

If you love the subject and what you are doing

As always, love is the answer.

If you love what you’re doing, and the subject, then people will be interested and love watching it.

If you massively love it, then people will love it even more and want to watch what you are doing.

Be authentic and not fake.

You also have to be enthusiastic about things, if you are enthusiastic about what you’re talking about, other people will be as well. If you are interested in what you’re doing, other people will be as well. This is what makes the most engaging YouTubers and podcasters.

If you making content that you don’t care about. For example, just to make money, audiences can smell this authenticity. Audiences can tell when someone is not authentic.

It helps if you know you’re making content that you care about, you know it helps people you care about.

You also need to be fun, have fun in a way that other people enjoy that with you, be fun. People will even want to do what you do, because you’re fun.

The best way to get people to ignore you, is to be really boring.

Nuseir Yassin from Nas Daly

Be engaging.

Scream, smile, do whatever you can to get people to pay attention.

Are you enjoying it?

If you are enjoying it, other people will too.

You need to take care of yourself, so you can enjoy it.

If you’re not enjoying it, other people will be able to feel it and will not like watching you.

If you enjoy it, then you’ll think it’s all good and will like what you’re doing, so other people will as well.

You need to have fun, be interested in what you’re doing, and let it show.

If you are interested in what you are doing, other people will be as well.

Other things

You need to make yourself fun and enjoyable to watch.

People want to be happy, so you have to be really happy and people will want that. If you are on YouTube, then you have to be insanely or extremely happy.

You must have confidence in the content you’re delivering, for example don’t be like you are just filling time because you have nothing else to say.

It has to be fun, an event, a party.

You also have to be relatable, so people can see their own lives in you, they relate to you and feel how similar you are to them.

You say something and they think it’s funny and relate to it, because it’s something they do as well. Like getting hungry and raiding the fridge at 3am, eating food that is unhealthy and you shouldn’t be eating.

Look into the lense, not the picture of yourself if there is one.

Be certain about things and not uncertain. If you are not certain on something, then be certain about your uncertainty. If you say something without certainty it sounds like a question and you don’t know what you are talking about.

Like you are speaking to a close personal friend

On YouTube you need to speak to the person like they’re your closest friend, so they really feel they are getting to know you and they like you.

You can’t speak like you’re talking to the thousands, hundreds thousands, or million viewers that there are. You need to speak like you’re talking to one person.

Practice talking to the camera like the person watching the video is your closest friend.

You don’t do it like you’re talking to a massive audience, you do it like you’re talking to an individual friend.

It’s the same when you are in front of a massive audience, you look at the people like you’re talking to a close personal friend.

Even if you are the best expert and know more than they do, never talk down to people. Treat people with love and respect and talk up to them.

Be relaxed on stage

Don’t be uncomfortable, embarrassing or awkward as it won’t be nice for the viewer. They would also think you’re unprofessional and not like watching you.

After doing lots of public speaking or YouTube videos, you’ll get used to doing it, will feel comfortable and not awkward.

Don’t be stressed on camera or with an audience audience. Be relaxed.

You have to make it look like it’s easy. This is because if you make it look hard, the audience cannot relax and enjoy themselves.


Don’t do things like you are seeking the audience’s approval of you. So don’t do things to get them to confirm their approval of you. A bit like when people look at you through the corner of their eye, to see if you thought something was funny.

If you don’t take yourself seriously, the audience will think they shouldn’t take you seriously. Then they think, why should they be listening to you. However you also have to balance that with not taking yourself too seriously, or won’t be engaging and fun too watch.

Don’t speak in monotone

Don’t speak in monotone, it makes it too boring to listen to your voice. You need to spice it up a bit. You need to be animated and interesting. You need to be varied with your voice tone and put interest into it.

For example, when you introducing something make it big as you’re saying that the thing that’s coming is big and amazing.

People are attracted to interesting things, such as when you hear someone shouting, you want to know what’s going on that’s causing the shouting. Being interesting attracts attention.

Do things intentionally

Don’t do non purposeful or unnecessary movement. Of course you need your hands to communicate, but most of the time when it is not purposeful or intentional, it’s not good.

You also need to be natural and not stiff like a board, it is natural to move around a bit and so on.

If someone on camera unconsciously just wanders off, such as looking away different directions, what they’re saying strays over the place and so on, it’s not engaging

Only move the video camera when it’s intentional or needed.

Speaking on camera

If someone asks you to speak to them, like you would on camera, they would see it as way too much for them.

A level 10 energy and excitement in front of the camera, appears like a 3 to the person watching it on their screen. So you really have to be amazingly excited to get that number up. You have to up the energy.

When doing a recording on YouTube, even if you feel you’re at an 8 energy, you’re probably at a 4

Some people find it hard when speaking to a camera, speaking like they would to a friend. That’s just because the camera is just a piece of electronics and they’re just looking into a camera lens. However, it’s what you have to do.

The way some people do it is even when they are recording to a camera, they’re thinking of the person like a friend who’s watching it.

How to get used to speaking to a camera

Carry the camera around and speak to it, do this in different places, including in public. This will get you out of your old habits.

It has to be personal

Laugh at yourself on camera, this is a good way to get people to like you as you are a real person who can laugh at themselves. It also gets you to loosen up. Read some jokes that you find funny, look into the camera lens and laugh, just so you get used to laughing on camera.

Film yourself in public where there are people around, this will help get you out of your fear of public speaking.

Watch raw unedited recordings of yourself, This will help you get over things about yourself that you may be uncomfortable with, such as your voice, how you look and so on. It’ll help you to start to like yourself and be able to see things from a more impartial perspective. It will also help you to get more familiar with yourself, on and off camera.


You have to have personality, this will help make you interesting.

For example, there is a woman who has a successful YouTube channel where the viewer is just coming shopping with her and things like that. People watch because the videos because the videos and her have personality and so are interesting.

If the videos in her were bland and boring, people wouldn’t watch them.

Find your authentic voice

Jack Dee the comedian was failing miserably, it was going to be his last performance as he was going to give up after it.

On that performance he had nothing to lose, he was just depressed on stage as that was the real him.

However people found that funny and it was him being the real him. As a result he found his authentic voice and was very successful.

Before that he had been performing like a positive game show host.

James Acaster the comedian wasn’t doing very well. He had thought he would do really well if he was the cool guy who is like the popular one at school.

However that wasn’t him and it was only when he became on stage the person who wasn’t quite so cool and popular that he became successful as he had found his authentic voice and became successful.

You will then find your audience and the people that like you.

If things are going well for you, people want to be part of what you are having

If you are happy, well and things are going well for you then people would like to be part of what you are having.

So if you are a street performer who is happy, things are going well for you and are having fun. People want to be part of that.

Even if it’s just an unknown person performing on the street, people will be drawn to that performer and performance.

It has to be personal

Whether it’s music, or talking to people, it’s the personal stuff that makes a unique and special. You personally may not be perfect, but there’s stuff there and it’s real.

Your personal view on the world, your take on things and how you are.

How you see the world that’s different from how others see the world.

To do this you have to really trust in yourself and push the boundaries.

When there is a successful song and other people try to just do the same thing, so they can be successful too. It isn’t great and doesn’t work so well because they aren’t making it personal, their own personal thing. The stuff just isn’t there.

Concentrating and relaxed at the same time

Rowan Atkinson says you have to be concentrating and relaxed on stage at the same time.

Concentrating so you can perform brilliantly, see the audience reaction and everything else. However if you do this without being relaxed, you will just be stiff.

You need to be relaxed so the audience can be relaxed and enjoy it.

If you are concentrating and relaxed on stage at the same time, it’s like you’re the master of time and space. You can see everything that’s going on and do everything, and the audience can enjoy it as well.

Don’t be flustered

If you are blinking a lot then you appear to be flustered, this makes you look weak and being flustered is not pleasant for the audience to look at.

If you don’t blink much then you look strong and are relaxing and calm and nice to listen to and watch.

These are all examples of things that make you look weak and ineffective so people don’t want to listen to you. Basically they are signs that you are flustered, best not to be flustered.

Why people get bullied

According to Joe Rogan:

The kids at school who get bullied are the ones who are worried about being attacked. Those kids get picked on because the bullies recognize that they can pick on those kids.

The bullies see this vulnerability.

With chickens it’s called the pecking order, when a chicken gets packed at by a dominant chicken, the other chickens come in and peck it that chicken as well. Those other chickens are often cowardly chickens.

It’s based on insecurity, fear and a deep concern from the other chickens that one day they’re going to be the one that gets pecked at.

So if bullies see someone who’s scared of offending someone, stepping out of line, or taking a chance, then the bullies come in and exploit that target.

Bullies tend to be people who are bored and don’t have a lot of hobbies.

How to not be depressed

People who are depressed often have very high expectations.

For example, when they have a baby everything will be amazing. However things are difficult and there are challenges, then they get depressed because everything is not amazing.

Maybe the person was brought up in a way where they given the expectations that everything in life will be amazing.

For example, the kids who grew up when their parents were massive celebrities thought life should be like that. The pop star who was massively famous and then like most fame it goes down, cannot cope with the loss.

You shouldn’t expect life to be awful and you shouldn’t expect everything to be terrible. That’s what the middle path is about, you go to middle way.

However having things for your own pleasure comes to an end and that is sadness. So it’s best just to have what you need and not just focus on what you want.

If you get things that you want or pleasure things that’s fine, but don’t be attached to them and you do that by just going after what you need.

If you’re a person who is always after massive happiness and excitement, like a roller coaster the lows will be lower as the highs are higher.

You should expect things to be impermanent because that’s what they are.

You get old and then you die. If you don’t expect any more than that then you should be fine.

People who don’t have much a happy because they don’t expect more.

If you get more then don’t get overly attached to it because it’s impermanent. Just have what you need and you have it for serving others.

A bit like eating food gives you energy which you use to serve others.


The highest highs, although they are glorious, don’t sustain themselves.

By comparison you drop to the lowest lows.

But by comparison, when you travel the even line down the middle of contentment, it rarely fails you.

High expectations

When people think that something they’re going to get will be amazingly fantastic and solve all their problems, they can only get depressed when they get it.

For example if people think having a baby or being famous will solve all their problems.

Whatever you have, you as a person are still there.

So you need to sort out how you are as a person, such as being balanced, not having too much attachment and so on.

Thinking of the past

Thinking of the past can be useful because it is an opportunity to analyse and go over previous issues and learn from them. Especially things in your childhood or formative years.

However be careful because doing so can make you sad and depressed because they’re all things that have gone.

That time has gone, those events have gone and probably those things have gone as well

How to be happy

Charlie Munger, the business partner of Warren Buffet says the following. I think it is clever because he says to do it you have to let go of negative feelings.

“You don’t have a lot of envy.

“You don’t have a lot of resentment.

“You don’t overspend your income.

“You stay cheerful in spite of your troubles.

“You deal with reliable people.

“And you do what you’re supposed to do.

“And all these simple rules work so well to make your life better. And they’re so trite.”

His prescription is logical, he says.

“Staying cheerful” is “a wise thing to do,” Munger told Quick, adding that in order to do so, you have to let go of negative feelings.

“And can you be cheerful when you’re absolutely mired in deep hatred and resentment? Of course you can’t. So why would you take it on?” Munger said.


It is easy to be used to adrenaline and excitement, this means you look for things that cause you that, or get bored when you don’t have them.

However these are things that cause you anxiety, fear and so on. You are basically looking for problems.

So look at things which bring you peace.

It is good to go and get things, but be careful that when you get them, you don’t throw them away as you are bored by them. All because you are addicted to, or in the habit of having adrenaline and excitement.

You need to value peace, as without peace you cannot be happy.

Yes it can be boring, but still value it.

Self love and self respect

To have a happy life, a person needs to have self-love and self-respect. It doesn’t matter having all these things from the outside, if you don’t have them on the inside.

To achieve this you have to have done good moral things, otherwise you will just hate yourself.

You have to be a good moral person for things to work out, if they don’t work out how can you respect yourself.

You also have to allow yourself to love and respect yourself.

Cheer yourself on like you would a football team

People put loads of effort into cheering on football teams, people they’ve never met, don’t know them, or care about them.

You also need to cheer on yourself like you would a football team. If you don’t do that you’ll unhappy.

You also have to celebrate yourself, celebrate your successes, and so on.

Being happy as a person

It’s very easy to think you’ll be happy if you have a certain possession or thing.

Such as you’ll be happy if you have a partner, children, a certain toy, object and so on.

However in the whole scheme of things, these things won’t get make you happy, it’s how you are as a person.

So you need to be happy as a person. It’s not about whether you have these things or not. You are happy and well as a person and not by being attached to things.

So you are happy as a person, not happy because you are attached to things.

Having what you need, not what you want

Wanting things makes you miserable, you are dissatisfied as you don’t have enough.

You need to be able to have enough, or you’ll never satisfied, you just want more.

So having what you need is good, such as you need food to live. However wanting things never makes you satisfied and there’s also the added problem of you are then worried about losing them.

Interestingly people who have a lot, often find that the happiest time of their life was when they lost all their money through maybe some financial misfort. When they had nothing they were actually happiest.

So a person may have lots of power, money and so on. Other people see them and think they’re happy, but actually they’re not. They’re just attached to these things and really wanting them.

Of course it’s good to have what you need, such as medical help, a safe home and so on. However the big difference is between need and want.

Having it for others

If you are happy, then other people will be happy too.

This is because the universe is one, so if you are happy it goes on to other people.

If you selfishly want to be happy, you won’t be happy because that’s just a dark hole of sucking and taking.

If you are happy for the sake of others, so you’re happiness is so that it goes to other people and they get it, then you will be given more more.

It’s like an endless virtuous circle of you being happy so others get it and so you get more. It’s not for you, it’s for others and so it passes and goes through you.

So the best way to be happy is to think about making other people happy.

The best way to feel good is thinking about making other people feel good.

If you are just thinking about yourself feeling good, it’s just a dark sucky path of selfishness that does not feel good.

Being with yourself

This is how you are with yourself, regardless of:

1, How you make yourself look to others, you can fake this

2, The job, friends, family and so on.

It is how you are when you are by yourself, even if 1 & 2 are gone. This is your core.

If you have done selfish things, being with yourself can be hard because you have to face the wrong you’ve done. You have to face your negative sides and problems.

You have to face yourself.

Date yourself, like you would if you’re looking for a romantic partner. This will help you to learn what you’re like.

Don’t run away from yourself.

Be content and happy being with yourself.

Be nice to yourself.

Listen to yourself, watch yourself, don’t just talk to yourself all the time. This is how you will learn what you’re about

Treat yourself the same way that you hope others would treat you.