To have a relationship with a woman where she feels comfortable with you, you need to be receptive to be aware of what’s going on.
However from a male libido point of view and for getting an erection, you need to be the opposite of that. The instigator, the forceful one.
So make sure that psychologically for sex you are that instigator and forceful one, so you get the masculinity and force for an erection. You have to do sex in that way or it just doesn’t work.
If you don’t find her attractive
If you don’t find the woman is attractive you just f*** her, rather than sex or making love. Then it does matter as your job is just to f*** her and it does matter how she looks.
You are not interested in her and how she looks, you are just f***ing.
You are not looking at her and how she looks, you are just f”””ing.
Of course to be nice you do the making love things and are nice and loving to her as that is what women want, but this is for her and not to make you get an erection.