Fighting

Morals

Morally every creature has a right to defend itself and use force to do so.

However a creature does not have a right to take things from others.

Good people protect good people from bad people.

Bad people take things from good people. It can be subtle, like insulting somebody to lower or take things away from them, so the bad person is then relatively better than the victim.

So need to love good and hate evil. Must realise though that evil is part of the one and so self, because all is one. However if evil, for the sake of the whole, it still has to reform itself or go.

Ways to win

Only start or go into a fight if you know you will win.

Never act out of spite

Never act out of revenge, old chinese proverb, someone who goes out for revenge should dig a grave for themselves as well as the other person.

Justice is fine as it is for others, not for yourself. Karma happens naturally from God, everything has consequences. It is especially needed if a person will not accept they have done wrong, so that they learn the lesson that they should not do it. It is fine if it is deserved by the person who has done wrong, but not if there are mitigating circumstances.

Emotions

Need to have courage and bravery, this is an emotion as well as an intellectual concept. That is why people who are not aware of their emotions cannot do it.

To fight need to get angry and hate what need to destroy. This is because they are emotions and feelings about destruction. This also helps get past the fear of not wanting to hurt oneself.

Alpha Males compared to Beta Males

A lot of this content comes from the website ‘Modern Male Lifestyle’, I just added my own experiences and a spiritual dimension which I believe is needed to make it work.

Alpha males are the ones at the top of the pack, they have power; status, strength, fame, money and are top of the political hierarchy.

Beta males: those lower down or at the bottom of those hierarchies.

What gets someone to be an alpha male:

This all tends to come from being moral as the male gets it for the sake of God and the people he is serving. As a result he receives, gets to appreciate and understand about the following.

Courageous, wise, strong, power and everything in life working out.

Do what is right even if others disapprove, this is because they have courage and self esteem. They are not dependent on wanting approval from others.

Take responsibility and calculated risks, they do not expect or want others to take ir for them. As a result they can do what is right and not just follow the herd and just do what they are told.

Self esteem, confidence, secure in themselves, what they are and do.

What gets someone to be a beta male

This all tends to come from being selfish as the male does not deserve to have the following things as he is not doing things sake of God and other people.

Coward, stupid, weak powerless and nothing works

Is so desperate for and dependent on the approval of others, will do things so that others like him, approve of him even if they are ultimately wrong for him and for others. They have low self esteem so desperately need to be loved and admired by others.

Do not take responsibility and calculated risks, want others to take it for them. As a result they do not do what is right and just follow the herd, or just do what they are told.

Low esteem, lack of confidence, insecure

Examples

Beta male: Makes excuses. Every time there’s something he can’t do, he has an excuse, and feels like he needs to explain it to those around him.

Alpha male: Never puts the blame on someone else. He always faces his obstacles head on regardless of the odds of success. He never complains about problems, but works to find solutions to them. If there is something he doesn’t want to do – as opposed to can’t do – he offers no explanation, he has self esteem and courage so does not have to justify himself to others for their approval.

Roller coasters? Nah, thats’ not me. Let’s do something cool instead.

Tip: Be on the lookout for the phrase: “I can’t do this because…” You don’t make excuses. Not only to other people, but especially yourself. When there is blame to go around – blame yourself for your failures. Why? Because you are acknowledging that you take responsibility and so have the power. – if you are the reason something is not being done, then you fix it. The mindset that evolves is that you take responsibility not only your shortcomings, but your successes. (Please do remember your place though in the hierarchy, God is and the higher words are ultimately in control and in charge of everything)

Beta male: Needs affirmation from others. Is obssessed with how others think of him.

Alpha male: Will listen to what others think as can cope with other people’s honest opinions, even when they are not in his favour. He will however then do what he think is right even if others do not approve. He does not do things so that other people think more of him as he wants that. This makes him very attractive as he is not dependent on others for approval and so controlled by them.
Simply be confident about how others perceive you. You will act accordingly. Anyone who looks down on you is either for a reason you listen to, agree with and resolve, or you do not care what they think as doing what they think is a road to ruin as they are wrong, or they are jealous, and also not worth your time. You do not have time for people who are counter-productive to your self-improvement or being effective.

Beta male: Talks fast, always seems to be nervous or in a rush.

Alpha male: Talks slowly, and in deeper tones. His movements are smooth. Translation: You are in control of your life. (The person just does what is right, but God is ultimately in control and determines what happens and if things succeed of fail. Also you are just one of 6 billion people on the planet, without these perspectives you will become a monster)

Tip: Before you walk in anywhere – catch yourself. Slow down – catch your breath and then make it look like you are walking through water. This speed is caused by the fear, panic and stress of wanting to have things now and not wanting to loose things.

As stated earlier, begin to create an image of smoothness and you will naturally start to become smoother. You are in control, you have emotions but you also have self control.

Beta male: Lives life by the day not really knowing what he wants. Will waste time on the couch, rather than doing something productive. He is lazy and passive.

Alpha male: Lives life passionately, passion in anything is essential for anything to be successful. Not the selfish passion of wanting something selfishly, but the emotion and passion to do good and do good things for others and God. . He has goals – and is focused on his goals and dreams and tears down any barriers in-between.

Tip: You must find a goal you want to achieve, or create one. Even if it’s simply to get better with women. Have something that when those “lay on the couch” moments present themselves, you can say, “I will do something to work toward my goal of ________ instead.” Without an exact aim, things cannot succeed.

Beta male: Gives up when he fails. Sees no point in trying and is fearful of facing failure again.

Alpha male: Failing at anything is only a mistake if you do not learn from it. Repeating failed behavior is insane – learning from failed behavior and trying something new is alpha. So the alpha is courageous and not just reliant on habits, routines and traditions. Failure is only a minor setback to you. When you are moving forward by trying something new, you will be unlikely to get it right first time and need many many attempts at different ways to find the best – and second, the sooner you can learn from his mistakes and succeed. No mistakes means not doing anything new, differently and trying new and better ways to do things

Tip: If what you are doing (like, with women for example) isn’t working, you must be open to try something new. This always feeds your adventurous side – something women love.

Beta male: Uses the word, “sorry” a lot – even when it doesn’t belong in the conversation. He apologises to others because he feels he might have offended them somehow. Others are his cruel master and mistresses and he is scared of them and he is lower down the social hierarchy.

Alpha male: Will not apologise for his desires and beliefs. alphas do apologise, but only when they truly believe they should. They are in charge and control. They do not try and make other wrong people feel better in ways that are not justified or deserved, in order to be liked.

Betas may for example put themselves down or saying sorry for things they did not do, just so the other person undeservedly feels they are superior as they think that the alpha person is crap.

The beta will not try and gain the approval of evil people, because this means doing wrong as that is what evil people want them to do and will approve of. The alpha male knows that is a road to ruin. Also evil people will approve of the beta male if he allows the evil people to take from them. This could be all kinds of taking, even the beta allowing evil people to mock them which is of course taking their dignity.

The alpha will lift others up as high as possible, so others feel great about themselves. However they will not put themselves down to make others feel better. Normally a beta does this to be liked, or for attention. It is not positive and is just feeding evil people who want others to be worse off and destroyed.

The world is one and the alpha knows that putting himself down is not constructive to the whole world. Lifting others up is constructive and creative to the whole world.

The alpha sees the world is one, so is happy for others when they succeed. He does not need others to be worse than him to think he is better in relative terms. When others are worse off it makes him sad, the world is one so the other person is the same Self.

This is especially effective as a compliment from a successful person such as an alpha, means more than if it came from a failed person.

Beta male: Believe it or not – he has a big ego. But it backfires on him because he is too sensitive and insecure regarding everyone’s opinion of him. So he constantly is trying to prove himself by qualifying – or stating his qualifications.

Alpha male: Never feels like he must prove himself. His ego is his ally. Here is the truth: Big egos are a result of low-esteem. A man who is truly confident in himself never needs to lash out at someone who insulted his ego.

Beta male: Always searching for approval and attention.

Alpha male: Does not seek attention – and therefore always gets it. But know that you can always be the most powerful presence in any room or situation. Why? People need to be led as they want others to take responsibility for them and do not want to take any risks. That’s why leaders are few as not many want to take responsibilityand any risks, followers are many as so many do not want to take responsibility and any risks.

Tip – Don’t selfishly feel the need to entertain a room full of women with displays of this and that. Betas are often clamouring for attention yet can never get enough – and alphas never want attention yet get too much.
In a room with a bunch of beta males and a bunch of girls you will notice how the girls respond to the alpha. He’s calm and laid back – the girls all turn their heads to him.

Beta male: Will never admit to his faults and mistakes.

Alpha male: Is not afraid to face his faults and overcome his failures. Admission is the first step to solving a personal setback or problem.

Beta male: Gets jealous really easily when he sees his girl talking with another guy.

Alpha male: Is supremely confident in his ability and status. If his girlfriend is talking to other guys, he goes to talk with everyone. He knows that life is about giving and not about taking from others

Beta male: Easily blows his stack. He loses his temper when someone else criticises him or when a girl disrespects him.

Alpha male: Is a complete picture of cool. He is angry so that he has powerful emotions, but also never loses his composure. If something upsets him, he shows his disapproval of it without getting mad or whining.

Tip: If someone tries to get you into a fight, simply leave. Don’t react emotionally. It’s on them and one has control over you or your mood.

Beta male: If he loses his girl, he loses all hope in life and thinks that he cannot live without “the one” – her.

Alpha male: If a woman leaves an alpha, he simply loves that there are thousands of other girls just as good or better than the girl who dumped him. His life is not centered around one girl, and he has no problem moving on.

Beta male: Did he take a shower? Did he get dressed in the dark? It’s like he is always messy, dirty, or poorly groomed.

Alpha male: Is always dressed welland groomed well. He has superior etiquette. Think: James Bond.

Tip: When you know you took the time to look better, you are happier and thus exude more confidence.

Beta male: Is afraid to meet new people.

Alpha male: Is ready to meet new people.

Beta male: Poor body language – slouches. He stands and sits uncomfortably, as if he is nervous.

Alpha male: Takes up the space he needs whenever he sits down or rests. Is in control of his getting his needs. Nothing surprises or startles him as he has courage and is prepared for things.

Beta male: Looks to quickly get into a relationship, as if he is desperate for a girlfriend.

Alpha male: Is not only not desperate for women, he is never desperate for anything. When you are not desperate for women’s attention or affection, it’s implied that you have plenty of it – which puts you at ease, and excites women.

Beta male: Is a pushover with women. He is willing to commit to a woman as soon as they give him the greenlight.

Alpha male: Does not let a woman push him about and rule his life so that he is no longer his own person Ever.

Beta male: Becomes wide-eyed when he sees someone do something, like he has never seen that before.

Alpha male: Act like you’ve been around in the world before, are experienced and not innocent. Of course is still affectionate and respectful of others. Lifts them up as they are so great as he is a giving person.

Beta male: Women are his number one priority.

Alpha male: He does what is right and does not let women rule his life if it goes against this.

Self control

Alpha male: Has all their emotions running whether it be anger, stress, sadness etc and uses them as they are energy and important. As a result he has powerful emotions as they are fostered, cared for and left to run. He can face and live with painful emotions. However the person is always in control of themselves, has self control and can control his feelings if needed. A person cannot control others, unless he can first control themselves.

Beta male: has weak emotions and feelings, is scarred of them and may even oppress them. Cannot face and take painful emotions and feelings. When a strong emotion comes along, it carries him away and he has no self control. Also when emotions come along he is swayed by them and has no self control.

Leadership

A leader is someone that others follow because they want to.

A manager is someone that tells people what to do.

For example a leader will go up a hill and others will follow them because they choose to.

A manager will tell other people to go up a hill but not do it themselves.
Having people follow a leader because they want to and follow the leader’s example is the most effective.

Most people just want to tell others what to do and not do the unpleasant and difficult tasks needed to set an example.

To be a leader

1, help people all you can. The leader is there to serve and help the people in the organisation. This is also the only way of setting an example, that it is organisation that is positive and creative.

2, Set an example: it does not matter what the leader says it is the example that will cause the effect. The leader can say anything they like, but if they do not set example, nothing will happen.

For example, a leader can tell people to be honest, but if they do not set that example, people will be dishonest.

The leader must have passion and live it for real.

3, Reward and punishment: the leader needs to work out the behaviours they want to happen and reward and punish accordly.

The need to be in balance too much pain assessment they will hate you too little then the bad people take over and all is lost.

If the leader is too generous there is nothing left in the organisation and it goes bankrupt. If not generous enough, then nobody wants to do anything.
How to get people to follow you.

It needs to be the people follow the leader because they like, respect and think he or she is the best person for the job.

People think that the person is the best for them. So a leader must welcome people to come up and ask him questions. He answers them honestly, to the best of his ability. Also being honest about when he does not have the answer.

People will only work for a leader and as a team, when they know the leader truly cares about them.
It must not be because people see that the person has been promoted to that that position, but they do not think the person is worthy of that the position, so is having to gradually do what they told.

So people do what they are told because they have to, or they will be fored, not because they respect him, think he is the best for the job and want to.

The leader needs to have confidence in what are doing, only then will other people have confidence in them too.
People want love and support, people will go along with and go with others in order to get that.

If the leader looks like they are strained, few will follow.

Confidence

If a person is not confident in themselves, what they are doing and saying, then no one else will either. As a result no one will believe in, or do what the person is saying, so they cannot be effective. Also a person has to be confident to be effective.

If a leader is truly confident in themselves, then other people will be as well.

Also staff will want to do their own thing and even take authority away from the manager. If the manager is confident in themselves and what they are doing, the staff member is less likely to do that.

Other things

A leader takes people with them, so people want to come along. A leader does not boss and tell people what to do.

However in a crisis, someone has to take control as there not time for a discussion, so the leader does tell people what to do. However people should be trained and have practiced what to do in a crisis, so that should rarely happen.

This is because as many crisis situations as possible should have been prepared for and things need to continue even if the leaders is killed.

Difference between a leader and a manager

A leader people want to follow, a manager just tells people what to do.

People do what a manager tells them because for example, in the job they want the salery, or that manager has been put in charge even though people don’t agree with it, but they have to do what they are told.

With a leader people know the leader is good at it as they have seen them actually do it. The leader does it and they follow behind the leader.

So if a mountain needs climbing, the leader climbs the mountain and the other people follow him. Even if it is unpleasant and uncomfortable, the leader will do it if it is something they are asking people to do.

As a result people can see that the leader is the best one for the job, gets on with it and good at it. As a result they will follow.

A manager does not do this, people just do what they are told because the manager tells them what to do it. If there is something unpleasant uncomfortable the manager will not do it, just tell others to.

A leader is with people so that they can talk to them and people can ask them questions. A manager does not, just stays in their office giving out orders.

It is leaders who create great organisations, not managers.

Direction

A leader just tells people the direction to go in and they do it. It means the leader needs to spend a little time on the business as staff know the direction to go in and do it.

However a manager does not say this Direction, just the massive micromanagement details of what the person needs to do as they do not know this direction.

The manager has massive amounts of work to do as the staff do are not able to do it all themselves.

The leader is far more effective as staff know what direction to go in and just do it, this also means the manager can delegate and has to use very little of their own time.

Safe and happy

People working in a business want to be safe and happy. It is the job of a leader to make them feel that.

This also has the advantage of enabling them to perform better, because they are in a better environment. The staff can also take risks because they are feeling safe and happy. This is from Simon Sinek.

Why people think they should follow you

People will only want to follow you, if they think that you’re great, perfect, everything in your life is going great and you have the answers.

They think if your life is going well, then that shows you know what you’re doing and what you say must be working and worth listening to.

Of course if there’s something people know is going wrong and they ask you about it then you have to admit to it or they don’t trust you. However don’t lay all your problems on other people and show them, as then they will see you have concrete boots, not trust you and be so interested in what you have to say or do.

Self esteem

If a person has low self esteem and is insecure, they cannot cope with ideas different to their own, because they cannot cope with the fact that they might be wrong.

A fragile self-esteem makes people unable to cope to the slightest criticism, even if it would be constructive to them.

So to compensate they become narcissistic.

Then they tend to compensate with an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.

They create this feke mask of ultra-confidence.

Such people also try and believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings.

A person with low self esteem also refuses to accept that someone else, or something else may be great. This is because, to feel better about themselves, they try and believe that everything else is rubbish. This means they loose out from enjoying other things and learning from them.

They chase after other people saying they are great, to compensate against the bigger truth that they themselves do not think that they are any good.

They go after wanting other people to think they are nice and great, status, show, ostentation, showy career and competition stuff.

However it is superficial and other people can tell it is fake, not real and the person is really empty and nothing.

The paradox is that this which is done to compensate makes it even worse as it is even more feke and superficial.

The person becomes obsessed by the mask, they focus even more on feking it, the superficial and so become even more empty.

The only real solution is for a person to be real, value other people, caring genuinely about other people, so become fuller and more real on the inside.

As the higher inner levels are more powerful and create the lower levels, the person comes more real on the outside. Also other people on their inside can tell that the person is real.

By working on real creation, things done regardless of show. Then there is a real base, depth and genuineness.

This leads to real self esteem as it is genuine construction and creation.

People who have genuinely achieved and created things, not superficial show, have nothing they have to prove to themselves and so not need to prove things to others. As a result they do not need and are not wanting compliments from others.

Not giving others power over your self esteem

A person has control over their self esteem. Other people cannot control it.

People can give control of their self esteem to others and not realise this in fact cannot be done. When a person does not give control of their self esteem to others, then ladies want to be with them as they are more together.

How to have self esteem

Self esteem is confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.

It is primarily built in the first 7 years of life during your formative years by being in a loving and respectful environment.

You need to love yourself.

You need to respect yourself.

To be able to love yourself you need to be a person who loves others.

To respect yourself you need to be somebody who respects others.

Basically by being good then you can love and respect yourself because you are good person.

It takes time to build and change.

Having self-esteem will help you to be able to be good to others.

Kissing (advice for men)

A kiss has to be like it is from a man, so not a little peck like it is from a wood pecker. Pecks are for birds, nobody wants to go out with a bird.

It has to be like the man really wants her as she is so lovely and beautiful, full of passion.

If it is on the lips then a full long kiss like you really want to be there. A french kiss needs to be full of love and psssion.

It is a way of the man communicating to the lady how wonderful and beautiful the man thinks she is and a way of giving her pleasure.

Women find a good kiss from a man romantic, because it is a way of expressing how much he loves her.

This is why it also has to be done romantically and not like it is a kiss from a friend.

Also scientifically the testosterone in the man’s saliva goes to the ladies mouth and that makes it and him attractive.

Dating

A woman does not feel anything in her lower regions for a man unless, she is french kissed. Full on, tongues doing their stuff, your tongue around hers and then your tongue goes around the other way around hers and so on, says Patti Stanger.

A lady may think that a man is not that great, not be interested in him and think he is rubbish, but when he french kisses her, she then thinks that he is amazing and everything changes!

It is important to try and kiss a lady both on the lips and with your tongue on a first date if possible.

Yes a lady may be wary and may not feel comfortable to have sex with a guy until many dates later on, this to check he is serious and they are comfortable with him. However girls like kissing and that is okay on a first date, girls want kissing with lips and tongues, they see it as romantic.

However be careful to not upset or annoy them by trying to go further than kissing if they have not signified or seem that they want this.

Hence the Cher song:
‘If you want to know
If he loves you so
Its in his kiss
(Thats where it is)
Oh, its in his kiss, thats where it is’

A woman does not feel anything for a man unless she is french kissed, tongues going around and doing stuff.

Women love to kiss and do not see it like they are having sex with a man. As a result they can kiss on the first date and kiss loads of times on the second date and it has nothing to do with oral sex or sleeping with a man.

The man will get bored and want to take it to the next level. The girl will want to kiss on and on and on, they will not get bored. For the girl it is romantic and part of the man loving them.

A good kiss:

•Is gentle so they know you love them

•Stong enough with you and how you do it that they get your masculinity, otherwise there is nothing for them as a feminine lady to be attracted to.

•Movement otherwise it is dead and there is nothing going on. Slow movement to so it is pleasurable, but can do fast a bit on occasion to keep it interesting. A kiss where you press your lips against their’s for 10 seconds does nothing, there needs to be movement.

•Variety: lots of different things otherwise it is boring. Your tongue touches and moves around and along, different parts of their tongue. For example touching end of your tongue with the end of theirs. The side of your tongue with theirs.

Needs to be done with the passion that you love the lady and really want her.

Psychological progress and being sane

To become sane and psychologically develop, a person needs to be able to change their views.

Change is hard.

That is why most people only change when the pain caused by their old way is so great it is truly unbearable or the situation will result in their death.

They also need to be able to face the bad points, or dark parts of their psyche. The rubbish, excrement and nasty bits of a person’s psyche are far more painful than physical pain of blood, guts and injury.

This is because the psychological world is so much bigger, greater and more potent than the physical world.

Also it is humiliating and injurous to a person’s pride to face their bad points, what they are wrong about and they have done wrong.

However these things are needed to be able to psychology progress and improve.

The older a person gets the more a person’s ego becomes more locked and fixed, so it is harder for them to change. On a person’ s twenties it is quite easy, forties is harder and most people cannot do it in their seventies and especially in their eighties. This is unless change has been part of their way throughout their life, so their life is about change.

A person whose ego is too set and fixed so cannot change, they will have a hard time growing. They are already dead and thei funeral a mere detail.

Business lessons

Things I learned from other people

Philip Green

Have to have a unique selling point, or point of view to succeed. That is what is hard work, 24 hours per day, working it out all the time.

Need to work 15-16 hours per day, need to be prepared to sacrifice, give things up.

Should never have to sue anyone, need to make sure that at all times the deal is mutually advantageous for both parties, so no one ever wants to sue. It is not worth the cost and time of going to court.

Alisher Usimov

No genius can retain a level of genius if they do not admit to their mistakes. It is only when a person or organisation can admit to their mistakes, that they can get rid of them. Harder to admit to mistakes, the older a person becomes.

Men who creates winners, have to be winners themselves.

A man having long term relationships with a woman

Getting to know the lady as a person

Men when checking out a lady may just look at her breasts and other physical sexual attributes.

However for a relationship to work they have to like them as a person, a friend and companion.

A man wanting to sleep with a lady has nothing to do with if they are compatible for going through life together as assets to each other.

So the man have to look at women as a person, get to know her as a person, see if he finds her interesting as a person and likes her.

This is also as man will only fall in love when he has an emotional connection with a woman.

Without that he will get bored of the woman he is with, or just see another attractive woman and go for her.
Being open

Need to be open to be able fall in love, cannot be closed off.

To fall in love, need the heart, heart shakra to be open, to fall in love.

Need to be open so the lady can get to know the man and who he is. Then for example a man can tell her personal things about himself, his loves, passions, things he wants etc.

Without this cannot experience a lady and fall in love with her.
Giving emotional support

Women want their man to give them emotional support.

When they have a problen they want the man to say they understand how hard it is, sypathise, say how great what they are doing is, be on their side.

Not tell them how to do it, how to solve the problem, unless they ask them for it.

This is because:
●Men are about doing, so tell the lady what should do. A woman may not at that time want that.
●In telling them how to do it, it will in some degree be different from what they are doing and so telling them that they are wrong, be a change, or the woman just wants to do it how they want to do it.

Often the lady just wants the man to listen to their problems, the woman knows it will not solve the problems , but it will make them feel better.

Entertaining the lady

Women want men who are charming, entertaining, and makes them laugh.

They do not want to be with a boring man.

Women want a man that will constantly entertain them, it is something the man provides to the woman.

Need to make sure that the lady is continually entertained. If she is bored with her man, she will dump him.

This is not just about variety in sex life. It is also about going to different places on holiday, different adventurous places, activities, restaurants and all the different kinds of things that she wants to do.

Just because she wanted to do something at one time, does not mean she wants to do the same thing again.

One lady said to me that women themselves don’t even know what they will want to do, it just changes. It is because of women’s hormones and also women work off feelings more than men. Men are more thinking, women are more feeling.

Giving them time attention and intimacy

Most women would like to spend all their time with their man, all of it.

They want a lot of attention and a lot of intimacy.

Things start to go wrong if you ignore them and don’t give them time, attention, affection and intimacy.

They want you to spend a lot of time listening to what they have to say and being emotionally supportive.

For example, when you come in from work, the first thing you do is go and see her, spend time with her and give her attention.

Consciousness

Consciousness can give a still and silent central axis upon which a person can ascend to the higher worlds.

With consciousness, a person can see the worlds as just a passing show.

Many people go on the side pillars of science (information), revelation, philosophy, religion. The central pillar or middle way of consciousness means a person is getting direct experience.
(Learned from Z’ev Ben Shimon Halevi)

People who are successful with being aware are awake. Most people are just sleep through life.

Open mind

To experience new things with consciousness, a person has to have an open mind, receptive to new ideas, different ideas and the ideas of others. So not blocked off by prejudice, or thinking that other ways are nonsense, so that can experience them.

Judging and mocking things gets in the way of a person seeing.

This is about not being bigoted and small minded, of course a person still has to discriminate between good and evil, so to not put themselves and others in cataclysmically bad and dangerous situations.

Looking

Many people are astounded by how certain people know so much about the world and presume it is because of their great intellect. These people normally are aware of so much as they just look, watch, observe! It is very simple as most very effective things are.

Things that make it hard to look and be aware of things

Change: people’s thoughts, people’s feelings, societies, groups and everything below God changes. Once a person has seen something, it then becomes a thing of remembering it and it becomes history, it is not the now. It is hard to be aware of change, but it is necessary to be aware of things.

Being awake: most people go through life asleep, they do not look and see. People just travel to work, travel back and are not genuinely aware, awake and paying attention. Being awake uses up energy so times for rest are also important

Waking up the higher parts of oneself: a person has physical, psychological, spiritual and divine levels. A person has to be awake and working well on a spiritual level, to be able to see the spiritual level. It is the same with the other levels too.

Seeing that are wrong: when seeing things a person can see that they are wrong, or on the wrong about something. It takes great courage to do this. It also means a person.

Facing oneself

When a person is becoming aware, they are facing themselves. This is the hardest and most painful thing to do. Facing the pain, blood and guts of the physical body are nothing compare to facing the shit, pain and unpleasantness in the psyche.

The ego

A person may think they are being aware of everything, but it is actually just their ego. It is just looking at I, me and mine. My view of the world, what I think my world is, etc.

As a result, they do not see the world, just their own ego.

To counter act this, as a person focuses on the needs and welfare of other people. Doing what God wants. It is not about their own desires and wants, it is about what God wants.

So they see what is not, I, me, mine. The ego is obsessed with itself, will try and trick person and do everything it can just for the person to stay trapped in the ego world.

A person needs to look at the whole world which is one and not just themselves.

Even of a person’ s psyche, the ego is only it’s part of it. So by a person just focusing on their ego, they are only aware of a small part of their psyche, not their emotions, deeper thoughts, spirit, divine aspect and so on.

Selfishness

A person may just focus on themselves and so only aware of the ego. This is because they are only interested in themselves and their own problems.

As they are just looking at themselves, they are not aware of the world, just the ego. They are stuck in themselves so cannot see the world around them.

They look at their selfish wants and desires so do not see anything else.

On a general level this could just be them focusing on getting money, power, respect and so on. As a result they do not see the whole world, because the whole world is one and is about the whole, not just them getting things.

If a person cares about others; then they will see others. However selfish people do not truly see others as they are of no interest to them.

Here and now

To be aware of what is really going on and not just pondering things a person needs to be aware of the here and now.
There are many different moments of the now.
Physical=this millisecond
Psychological=this lifetime
Spiritual=fete over many lifetimes
Divine=the time of the whole universe
God=the entire time span of this universe is but a fleeting moment in the mind of the Lord.

A person becomes aware of these levels of now, until gets to God.

To be aware of God need to be aware of now as God is in the now.

A person may be distracted from the here and now.

Future: dreaming of the great things thst may happen, or worrying about them.

Past: nostalgic about what happened in the past, this may be because they are recalling their youth, or simply that the past is known to them and not unknown, unpredictable and change.

Other places: this is to have a fantasy of what is going on elsewhere, or to escape the harsh reality of what may be happening now.

Only for now it is what is really happening by focusing on that now won’t be aware of all the levels of now.

However anything that is not now, is simply conjecture, wondering, deliberating, worrying, hoping and not what is really going on.

Everything is one

When a person is aware that everything is one, the person is aware that they can be conscious of everything. This is because they are it, as much as it is them, so can be aware of things as much as they are aware of themselves.

Perspective

A spiritual person looks at the whole panorama of space and time. When being with a genuinely spiritual person, there is a feeling that they can see through you. They are on that transpersonal level that they know all is one.

Spirituality

Need to be conscious of being conscious. This goes up to the higher levels. It is something that animals tend not to do as they are just concerned with where there next dinner is coming from and so on.

Being aware of the unexpected

People often only look at and for the expected. The do not notice, see and ignore the unexpected.

There are great things going on in peoples’ psyches and inner worlds, but they do not see or notice them as they are not the usual things that they expect.

An examples of this in the physical world, is when native American Indians did not see Columbus’s ship arriving, even though it was huge. This was purely because they did not expect to see a ship as they have never seen one before.

This is to do with wanting the habit of what they already know and so expect. People are only looking at what they already know and is in their routine, not for new unknown things. Also they do not like the change of something new, because of the uncertainty, death of old ideas etc that this causes.

So need to be able to be aware of the unexpected. Then will see and experience genuinely new things.

A good thing is to meditate on being aware of the unexpected. Things being there that you do not expect.

The unknown

People only like to look at what they know, not the unknown. This means they actually learn and experience nothing new. They also do not find out when they are wrong.

So need to meditate and look at the unknown.

The unknown is scary, because it could be benevolent or malevolent. So need to look first, examine and so on before leap. However can only know what a new thing is really like, once actually experienced, which is also what makes it so scary.

A person needs to be brave, but of course not foolhardy., or stupid.

Blocking

We block things out in order to be able to cope. If we saw them it would be too much for us and we could not deal with it.

For example blocking out having past lives, as cannot cope with the enormity of it all, all the bad things that have done in past lives, happened to us and their consequences etc.

We may block up high levels and higher things so as not to see them because we cannot cope.

So need to look at and for these blocks and I only remove them when will be able to cope with it.

Being worthy

Higher levels and knowledge have great power and can affect a great many things.

There are also many good and deserving beings and things on these higher Levels, so they also deserve to be treated well and cared for.

As a result a person can only see and experience what these things if they will do good and the right thing with them. As a result they have to be deserving and worthy. Until then, these things will be off limits, unseen and inaccessible by them.

As a person becomes more good and moral, they deserve more and so become more aware of these higher and greater things.

How to have a good marriage that will last

Picking the right partner
Looking at a potential partner as a person, not just sex

When looking for a wife they need to be kind, clever and pretty in that priority order. That is the secret to a marriage that will last a lifetime.

Needs to be someone that genuinely cares about you and is nice to you.

For a man it needs to be a lady that really genuinly does want to look after the man.

It is very easy to men to be ruled by sexual attraction, so to go for someone who is pretty as a first priority. However having a life together is about a relationship that encompasses all of life, buying a home, caring for people when they are sick, children and all of the decisions. So a man needs to get on with his wife like a friend and a valued companion. That is why the first priority is that a man’s wife needs to be kind.

A man can just want to go for the beautiful girl to fall in love with, like diving off a cliff. Need to look at the lady as a person separate from the sexual attraction. Need to look under the surface, what are they really like as a person.
Be okay with being single

A person has to be able to spend time by themselves to find out what they are like as a person and what they are like.

Also if a person cannot cope with being single and being alone, they will pick one of the first people they meet. However they should go on many dates with many people and not just go with one of the first people, as they cannot cope with being single.
Values

Needs to be that you have the same values, so that when make decisions they are the same ones and there is no conflict. For example these may be decisions about:
▪whether to honest, or dishonest
▪pay your taxes or not pay them
▪be polite or be pushy to get ahead
▪the children’s schooling
▪healthcare
▪types of holidays, activities and what to do
▪where to live
▪and so on

This is especially as the two people will be living a life together.
The lady really wants you

The man must not lead with his money, status, saying wants to have children etc.

Of course a degree of it is needed for the woman to find the man attractive, but more than a certain amount means that if the man leads with it, the woman probably wants him just for these things and not to have the man himself.

The man should be able to tell if the lady just wants him for these things.

It is very easy in the man’s eagerness for sex or to pull the woman to use these things as his primary bait for attracting the woman. The man finds out what the women wants and offers these things. However with modern divorce laws, the woman can get these things, divorce him and take these things from him to get them, but without him.

So the man needs to be careful that the woman really wants him for just him. He needs to have one the lady over with charm, romance, chivalry and his personality.

Normally split second comments, movements, expressions or gestures done by the lady will in time give the lady’s true intentions away. Intuition and feelings also mean that a man should be able to tell. However the hormones of ‘falling in love’ can cloud a lot of his judgement.

The man may even have to do tests like pretending has lost a lot of money, not wanting to have children, might be loosing his job and not able to get another one etc to be sure.

A man needs to insure that finds a lady who genuinely likes them and wants to take care of them. And lady who is a giving person and not just a taker.

The right person

When dating, the kind of conversation will determine the kind of lady the man gets. If you talk about superficial stuff, he will attract a superficial woman.

The lady also needs to be of a calibre and have interests that will keep him interested and engaged. If for example the man is a university professor, he needs to make sure he goes out with a lady who is of that type and as close as possible to himself. A waitress party girl maybe attractive and fun at first, but building a life together and lack of proper interesting conversation etc. means it will not last.

People do not change

People very rarely change, it takes lifetime, after lifetime after lifetime for people to change even a bit.

Please do not assume that a marriage, relationship, having children etc. will change the person.

Definitely do not go into a relationship to rescue somebody. Can rescue somebody outside a relationship, but then not be dragged down down by having a relationship with them, where they then have power over you and can wreck your life.

Once married
How to treat your partner

A wife needs to realise that if they are going to scream and shout at the man, they will blow out the light of love. This is because the man will associate their wife with being abused and have to put up a barrier to protect themselves from their wife. This of course means that love cannot flow.

People often think that once they are married it gets easier and they do not have to put in so much work anymore. Actually it gets more difficult and one has to put in more work to keep it alive, or the marriage will come to an end.

Marriage is hard, never take each other for granted, keep expressing that you love each other, buying presents and so on.

Even when having problems in life with money, work, dishwasher breaking down etc. Still need to spend time and energy doing fun things, giving thoughtful things to each other. Need to still show the lady how much you love her, be romantic etc.

A relationship is also ever changing, moving on and developing, is not just something that is created and stays the same.

Need to be careful is not just sexual attraction, need make sure you get on as friends. The sexual attraction can blind a person from judging if the other person is nice as a person and someone they actually get on with as a friend. You need to feel comfortable and happy with each other.

Great sex is also of course important.

Needs to be someone you have things in common with.

Need to listen to the lady, she may say that the man is not doing enough and she may (or may not) be right.
Care

Ultimately it only works if each person cares about the other and this is not just a sex thing.

They also have to value a partnership to go through life with and companionship and this is also not just a sex thing.

Compromise is also important, but as in all things, there are good and bad compromises.

The man puts the lady first

It is very easy for a man to stop putting the lady first. He may start putting work trips, social and other things before seeing her. Maybe even meaning they organise things such as when and where to do things. The lady will see this as not putting her first and will end a marriage.

So once married need to ensure still spending loads of time with your wife, or are being a bad husband.

Kindness

This section is what I learned from ‘Science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits’.
The Atlantic, Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic. It was also in Business Insider Magazine.

Interest in and support with in the other, who they are, what they do etc. Have to fulfil partner’s need for this.

Helps get trust and intimacy, which makes them more emotionally and so physically comfortable.

Otherwise deteriorates into fear of the other person and so aggression.

Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship. Do they bring kindness and generosity; or contempt, criticism, and hostility?

Must scan the partner for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. So building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.

Must scan the partner for what the partner is doing right, respecting them and expressing appreciation.

People need to make their partner feel worth a lot, visible and valued.

Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.

There’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.

In some people, the kindness ‘muscle’ is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. A person has to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.

Need to be kind even when you are tired, stressed, or distracted, life is hard. Also even if in a fight with your partner.

If angry, say to partner why you are angry, because of what has happened to you, so they understand why you are angry, not just attack them.

A bad sign is if a couple cannot be happy together, shared joy, when one of them has a success. When one person says their good news, the other should stop what is doing and engage wholeheartedly with them, congratulating them and asking more about it.

Neglect creates distance between partners and breeds resentment in the one who is being ignored.

Tolerance

Need to be tolerant that you and your partner can be very different people, with different values, ideas, characteristics, natures etc.

This is fine as what matters are things that are important, examples are that they are loyal, will look after you etc.

Chasing and wooing the lady

The worst thing that a man can do is take the woman for granted, this can easily happen as the relationship goes on and on.

The man thinks he has her now and how does not have to put any effort and she will just stay around anyway. This can especially happened once married a think now have the person.

However the fairy tale for a girl is the man who loves the girl so much that will do anything for her, give her gifts and will do anything for her to be happy. The man loves her so much he is continually working out what new things and different he can do for her and does them. So the man man must do this everyday, otherwise for the girl it the feelings for him dies. Then the girl gets resentful at what a useless man she has.

Peace

Some people stop having a relationship with someone because they get bored.

However what about being at peace with someone?

They are actually stopping the relationship because they miss the adrenaline rush and excitement of chasing the person.

Stopping a relationship for this reason is self sabotage.

Keep it going

When you first meet there’s the loving connection.

Then it starts to get hard as you don’t have the same sexual interest in each other that you did when things were new, you can start to get bored with each other. Life can be difficult and you can get annoyed by things which can affect the relationship.

You have to make sure you don’t lose your temper and succumb to these things

So you keep being affectionate with your partner and appreciating them. Without this it will fall apart.