Truth and lies

Lies used for evil

Bad people often do not believe there is the truth, they are so in darkness from their selfishness they cannot realise their is the fundamental reality of truth.

This is especially true of people who lie a lot. Their lives are based on the non existance of a lie, so they look, feel and become like unreal people. They become what they are, a lie.

They also loose touch with reality as their lives are more based on lies which are things which are not true, than truth which is real.

They also loose touch with reality, because when a person lies, it is them telling the lie, so they will be affected by it and also come to believe it to one degree or another. For example that is why it is essential not to lie about being ill, because it may happen to a person as it affects their subconscious.

The truth has a subtle authenticity that non greedy people will be able to recognise. A light, real texture and authenticity.

Lies are dark, uneasy, wobbly and scary.  Like a wrong note produced by a musical instrument. They create an uncomfortable feeling on a psychic level.

On a fundamental level the truth is real and is what builds up success in reality.

Of course if a bad person wants something from a good person, it is okay for the good person to lie to stop the bad person getting something they would steal or treat badly.

Fantasy, reality and the truth

Most people prefer whatever is good news about themselves and bad news about others.

To mock the others they often do not mind if it is not true and to be satisfied with themselves they also often do not mind if it is not true.  This is because the desire for such things over rides this.

People may want the thing that is not good for them in the long run, because they want something now. They may not want to think about how it is bad for others, because they think it benefits them.

People do not like the feeling of shame for the bad things they have done, to see the dreadful problems and danger that could be around the corner as a result of their actions, what they have gotten wrong, when they are wrong and that fact they need ro change.  

This means people often prefer fantasy over reality and will be hostile to hearing a truth that does not tell them how great they are and how great what they are doing is. 

If a person does not want the truth, do not push it to them as they will react to defend themselves from it with great ferocity. They will see it as it an attack on their very nature. When they are in real trouble, they may decide they want to change.

While people want pride and other things, it can override the fact they need to know the reality of the situation.

When a person is wanting to serve god and do what is right, they realise the truth is best.  A person doing good then can face themselves and the truth because it is good.  A person who is not doing good,  cannot face the truth truth and the painful shame of their degraded existence.

As a result, the hardest thing a person can do is face themselves.

Most people are very much in a fantasy world.

Social skills (people being comfortable with you)

People believing you are the same as them

People want to be friendly with people like themselves and not someone who is different. This is a first and primary thing for who people are friendly with!

So a person will be friendly with people who have the same amount of money as them, beliefs, background, class, nationality, religion status, views on life, sex, interest and so on. The more important that factor or interest is to them, the more they will want to be with people that have that same factor.

People naturally feel comfortable with people who are the same as them.

People feel uncomfortable and even hate people who are different to them.

A person may tolerate someone who is different to them, but this is an act of service, compassion and benevolence. It does not mean that they selfishly want to be with that person.

This is regardless of how nice, generous and so on that other person might be. For example, even if someone is a criminal and a bad person, he will only feel comfortable with other criminal and bad people. Even though such people will rip them off and so on.

This even means a nasty person will only feel comfortable around other nasty people and will not want to be friendly with nice people as they will not feel comfortable with them because they are different.

Yes a person maybe around other people who are different to them to be tolerant to them. However that is because they are being nice tolerating the other person’s difference, not because they want to be with them.

How to adapt to people:

1, Only mention the sides of yourself that are the same as the other person, not those that are different.

2, The personality is a mask, the word persona comes from the Greek word for mask and once a person realises this then they can use it to adapt to different people.

The personality/ego is your mask to the world, without it people will not be able to see and relate to you. They will not be able to tell if you are a prince, beggar, professional, working class person, childish, mature, responsible, immature and so on.

However it is only a mask and you need to know that it is not the real actual you, or you will get lost by purely identifying yourself by your personality. The persona is what people use to relate to each other.

Friends

A real friend is there to help you if you have a serious and disturbing problem. Often it is the people you think will not help, that actually do. This is because people can be very charming and part of charm is making huge promises, very charming people often make false promises.

Togetherness

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” A real friend is with you, two people being together so they are not alone and lonely. This actually does not even need anyone to talk, they just have to be there. It is not one person wanting to have power over the other person.

It is about not being alone.

It’s not about one person wanting to be better than the other person, they’re both together and it isn’t about a hierarchy. One person is not competing to be better than the other.

Making Friends

Friendship is 95% mutual empathy, joint connection in emotional connection, making each other laugh, making each other feel good, support, advice, praise and affection. This empathy can happen when are similar to each other. It Is words, feelings and acts of consideration.

Being together and wanting company. Empathy means want to be with someone.

It is only 5% accountability of doing things for each other, when we really depend on them for our urgent core needs.

How to make friends

People want to be friendly with people who are like themselves. ‘You and me of the same blood’, ‘peas in a pod’ and so on.

So you need to learn how to be just like the person you’re talking to.

Childhood development with making friends

Jordan Peterson says that from a childhood development point of view, parents need to make sure their children know to control themselves so they can do what the other person wants, and not just what they want to do.

They need to learn this between the ages of 2 and 4. They need to be able to control themselves so that they can do what the other person wants and make sure they can have the same frame of reference as the other person they are talking to.

If they can’t do this then they can’t cooperate with others and so they can’t get on with other people in the world.

Life will be very hard for them, because other people won’t interested in them and if they can’t cooperate from the same frame of references other people, other people won’t have an interest in them, as they won’t be of any use to other people.

Be fun

People want to be with other people who are fun, to do this just be fun, the embodiment of fun and energy of fun.

If you just talk about your problems all the time, people don’t want to be loaded with that.

Of course you need to be right for the situation, being fun is for party times. There’s times to be sympathetic, compassionate and so on.

Love

A view of love

A view of love is that, it is when someone puts the needs of someone else before their own.

This is because somebody values somebody else, more than they value themselves.

They care about others, more than they care about themselves.

As a result they will even do things for this other person, as a priority over themselves.

When the other person is happy, they are happy.

When the other person is sad, they are sad.

So the person wants to let the other person have the last cookie in the jar, as they get pleasure, when the other person gets pleasure.

This creates a connection, the person is connected to the other person.

Love is a heart thing, you have to feel it

Things caused by and that are part of love

When talking to somebody else, the person is concerned about the other person and not about themselves, it is all about the other person.

When a person talks to somebody else they love, the other person can see themselves in the eyes of the person who loves them. This is because the loving person is just thinking about the person they love.

People who love each other operate as one.
The dark side of love

This is where somebody loves themselves, but doesn’t love others.

My love having things, but not other people.

They can love a thing that is not for the greater good, then it can do harm to the rest of the world

People can love having things such as if someone loves the taste of chicken, it means that they love the taste of the chicken in their mouth, which results in the chicken is not having a great life.

People can also love things that are not conducive to the greater good such as if someone loves murdering other people, then the love of murder is not conducive to the well being of others.

A person can also value a bad leader and what they stand for, then harm will be done.

As a result, a person is what they love. Which is why it is important to love good things and hate bad things. For example loving morality and hating selfishness.
The best love

The best thing to love is god and god’s morality. God wants what is best for the world and so then a person does what is right for the world.

Please see the section ‘Love (social skills)’ for more information on love.

General

People will come and go in your life, but you will always be with yourself. So a person needs to be able to love themselves.

For a person to be lovable, they have to love others and do good. This is is also so that a person can love themselves.

This is the same for God, God will always be there and a person needs to do good so God can love them.

A person has to be deserving and worthy of love, so that other people and God can love them. Also so that they can love themselves.

Mr Rogers ‘Love is at the root of everything, all learning, relationships. Love or the lack of it.’

Mr Rogers ‘The greatest thing we can do is let someone know they are loved and capable of loving.’

People loving you

You can’t buy love, you can buy dinners and get honors, but does not mean they will truly love you.

You can buy sex, but that is not love.

The way to be loved is to be lovable. So do you things that are nice and people will love you. Just doing things for people is one way of expressing love, you also have to be able to express love emotionally and so on.

It doesn’t mean anything if you do something for somebody, but there’s no love there, or expression of love.

You can give somebody something, or do something for somebody, but if you don’t do it with love and expressing real love, it’s not love.

You need to truly love others. By giving a lot of love to others, they will love you.

There are people who have lots of money, but no one loves them. It is how much people really love you in a way that matters, which is the real success of life.

You have to practice and learn about giving love to others.

You have to practice loving others and not hating others.

We need love

We all need love, to receive love.

We will need to be loved by someone, have friends who love us and so on. It’s important to have a partner who genuinely loves you.

It’s important to have people in your life who love you and to be able to receive love.

A big problem is if a person is unable to receive love, or if love is there, they are unable to receive it.

For example maybe they had a difficult childhood and so their barriers are up, are defensive and always fighting. They don’t realize that they are in a situation where they are loved, there is love there, they should open up to it and receive it.

We’ll need love and to receive love.

You need to love yourself

If you love yourself then you won’t be scared to be by yourself, or not be in a relationship, as you will always have love in your life.

People can’t love you if you don’t love yourself. Once you love yourself, people will be attracted to you.

The way to love yourself, is to think and do things that mean you can love yourself.

Then you will truly love yourself, it’s about it being real and not faking it to yourself.

Happiness and sadness

Happines from morality

Happiness comes from a clear conscience.

Happiness comes from doing good, sadness comes from having done evil.

God is happy with people when they do good, angry and sad with people, when they do evil. This makes people happy when they do good and not happy when they do evil.

People get what they need when they do good and so have a happy life. They do not when they do bad.

Gaining something by bad means never leads to long term happiness. It always has to be paid for and that includes feelings of guilt.

Comedians are often very sad people, because in the short term they think they can get happiness by putting other people down, so they think in relative terms they are better than others. However they are hurting other people, which in the long run gives them hurt and pain.

It is also because they get laughs as people are laughing at them and this is not nice for them.

Happiness from having things

People are happy when they gain, sad when they loose. So if someone bases their happiness on having things, it is never good in then long run as all physical rewards must pass.

Happiness and sadness are then two sides of the same coin as Kahlil Gibran says in his book ‘The Prophet. So cannot have one without at some time getting the other.

Far better to base your happiness on doing the right thing and a relationship with god.

All physical things give happiness when gained, but as they are impermanent will eventually pass away leading to sadness from loosing them. So in the short term physical things give happiness, in the long time people are no better off for having had them.

However god is permanent, doing good is God’s way, so it is the right thing.

Even emotions and feelings are impermanent, so not as important as God.

Doing good means you get what you need on all levels.

Dis satisfaction means you cannot be satisfied so are not happy. So sadness comes from wanting more than you have, so the more you want to have, the harder it is for you to be satisfied and the less happy you will be.

Wanting things is painful if not have what you want.

Depression

A person may be depressed but by looking at the good things they have done, they can stop being depressed.

Even the humblest person may have worked to support their children, done a good job at work, been kind to someone.

It does not have to be big, just something that has benefited the needs and welfare of others.

Ultimately the world needs to be a better place, for you having been there.

Sadness from wanting things

A person can be sad because they do not have what they want.

So the less the person wants, the easier it is for them to be happy. When a person is released from wanting something they cannot have, so they no longer have a desire for it, they become happy.

This is also because by not wanting it, they are not attached to it, so become free.

Enlightenment which reduces a person’s desire to have material things, will therefore make them happier.

Being depressed from mocking other people

People mock others because they want it to be that
▪they are better than others.
▪what they have is better than others.

However by hating others and what other people have, they are surrounded with with things they dislike.

When we look at things we love such as a beautiful woman, object, car, it makes us happy.

However by a person hating things and saying they are rubbish, they are surrounding themselves with things they do not like which will make them unhappy.

Stress and strain

Stress and strain means you are focusing on these on unpleasant things. This means that the person is not happy.

Also by focusing on stress and strains a person does not see the beautiful, wonderful; joyous things in life and get to enjoy them.

Satisaction

A person will not be happy if they want more than they have.

So if a person has all they want, then they will be happy.

If a person wants a lot more than they can easily get, then they will have a lot of stress, strain in trying vto get it, which can lead to unhappiness and anger

However even if a person does not want much, as everything below God is impermanent then eventually they will be sad as even that will go.

If a person does not want anything for themselves, then there will be no attachment, so there will be peace, happiness etc.

Coping with sadness

To help cope with sadness and even depression, see the beauty in it.

Sadness comes and goes, it is not permanent.

Sadness is energy, use the energy.

A person can choose where their happiness comes from, they can choose it to come from a particular hobby, lifestyle choice etc. Best for it to come from service and inner things. Need to not let outside things destroy happiness.

The middle way of happiness, being gently happy, avoids the constant ups and downs. This is because a person wanting excess can never be truly happy, as then the person can never have enough. Also the ups must come to downs, so best to have a middle way.
The happiness needed means have what needs, is manageable and worthy.

We are naturally happy

A person’s natural home is God, as in being with God.

As people we are naturally happy.

So need to just not let anything get in the way of your happiness.

A person can be happy, by just not letting events, people, desires, problems and so on, get in the way of them being naturally happy.

Responsibility

People who aim for happiness are often do not take responsibility. This also means that often do not take the time to learn develop etc.

Responsibility is not fun, can be boring, is stressful and a strain. It is often the buzz kill that stops the fun, because the responsible thing means the fun thing cannot be done, or done instead of doing fun things. The fun things can even be irresponsible.

However in the long term if people do not take responsibility, their lives do not go well, because they are not able to achieve and do things and get the reward that come from being responsible.

I’m the long term they do nothing and life falls apart.

In the end it is best to be responsible, but still take time out to have fun.

Achievement and creating things

People often think they will get happiness from having things, the biggest satisfaction comes from creating things, so a job well done that is a result for people.

An example could be fixing a tap for someone in the home, or building something for somebody. A real sense of achievement.

Enjoyment

It is easy to think that enjoyment is happiness, when it is not. Enjoyment is deriviing pleasure from having the thing.
This is not happiness, happiness comes from being good and not succumbing to evil. Happines is also from how a person is and how they are, which is from not what they have.

It is easy to think that enjoyment is happines, when it is not.

Selfishly wanting happiness makes you depressed or less happy

When selfishly wanting something, you are clouded and get it less.

With things involving selfish lust, you are less happy.

A bit like how people in beauty salons selfishly wanting to be attractive, look ugly selfishly when they are selfishly wanting to be pretty.

When you selfishly want something you are clouded by your selfishness, so get it less.

If you work towards something you will get it, but that work is not selfish lust, it is doing work which is different.

If you do things to make others happy, you will be happier, as long as you are making them happy by giving them things that are genuinely good for them.

Richard Branson

Taking on giant rival businesses

Not exact quotes, but things I learned reading texts written by richard branson

For an upstart to take on a giant and win, it only needs bravery, good people and a great idea. If you have a brilliant team around you, are determined to make it work and develop a concept that will genuinely have a positive impact upon people’s lives, then nothing can stop you.

The only one who can hold you back is yourself.

What to focus on

If you don’t have time for the small things, you won’t have time for the big things.

Focus on ideas, product, execution and your team. If you do this the money will ultimately come. People who focus on finance generally fail.

Entrepreneurs

Entrepreneurs create value from views opposite to other people and society.

They see economic value where others see heaps of nothing. And they see business opportunities where others see only dead ends.

Entrepreneurs driven just by profit are a lot more likely to fail. The entrepreneurs who succeed usually want to make a difference to people’s lives, not just their own bank balances. The desire to change things for the better is the motivation for taking risks and pursuing seemingly impossible business ideas.

Ideas

While some of us are lucky enough to experience game-changing inspiration, the vast majority of us will develop ideas through a more methodical approach.

Most his ideas took a lot longer to formulate and are the result of steady observation.

His best inspirations came from everyday frustrations encountered at work and in his personal life. Simply taking note of them can lead to great ideas, because if you follow up and find that you can offer consumers a better solution than the ones currently on the market.

Always keep a notebook handy to jot down ideas for improving our businesses; the same applies for starting them.

The important thing is to make a practice of it, preferably every day. Curiosity is a great quality in an entrepreneur: Since there are countless problems to solve, we are all exposed to many different opportunities throughout the day – all you have to do is follow up.

Management

Key to any business is communication and attention to detail. In the early days of Virgin Airlines they used to run out of sugar a lot, this would annoy some coffee drinkers if they could not have it on a long flight. Communication was needed so head office found out from the air hostesses and attention to detail, so they knew how important such a small thing was.

Social skills (how to get people to like you)

This is learned from someone who met Tony Blair the former UK pri minister.

1, He made the person he was talking to feel like the most important thing in the world.

2, Genuinly be interested in everything about the other person, not just generically, but their skills and other things. He did not go up to other people and mention about himself and what he had done, he just asked the person he was talking to about themselves and what they do.

3, He then deprecated himself in relation to the other person, by saying things like ‘I wish I could do that’ or ‘what you do is do much more important than what I do’.

4, He also acted with an openess of a best, trusted friend who cares about, admires and loves the person he was talking to as a best friend would. Normally people only do this openess with another person if they care, love and really trusts someone. This openess means on an astral level he really could be hurt, so most people normally only do this if they really trust the person they are talking to. This best friend stuff was of course a false promise that he wanted to be their best friend.

Of course Tony Blair used this for people to choose him for pri minister and other such roles.

General things, not specifically Tony Blair

Be very appreciative and thank ful of people and what they do.

Be humble. MN

An interest in people

Able to look at and be very aware of people’s feelings, this is the big one. For example can tell how people are hurt, when they are told that they are wrong or should do things differently.

Interested in people.

A communicator.

Then can know what they want and not to hurt them.

This means a person can be a warm, friendly person, that wants to hug other people and get them into the community.

This is about feelings and emotions, which is the opposite of somebody who is interested in logic, machines, calculations, physics and computers.

However, each person has a different makeup, this just may not be you. Your value may be in science, logic, computers, etc.

Do not be self absorbed

Being self absorbed is being preoccupied with one’s own thoughts, emotions, life, good qualities, bad qualities, what they look like etc.

A definition of love is to value the well being of others more, or as much as your own.

When being with people it has to all be about them, not at all about yourself.

So need to be firstly thinking about, interested in, hoping for and wanting the best for other people’s thoughts, emotions, life, qualities, what they look like etc. Also known as goodwill and best wishes.

Cannot fake it, actually have to do it, then you will shine and people will want to be with you.

Of course do not push it too far, have to make sure you needs are met so you can function and be well for others.

People liking and loving you

To be liked, a person has to like other people.

So by liking other people, a person becomes likeable.

Love is a bigger and greater version of like.

To get love, a person has to give love.

So by giving love to other people, a person becomes lovable.

You have to genuinely love other people. Love is a hugely powerful thing and it’s what does it.

Of course to do these things properly, they have to be done without any thought of return.

People will naturally like a person who loves God, God is the power behind all that all is made from and is one with. So by a person loving God, they love all.

People thinking you are awesome and wanting to get to know you

Be kind and empathetic.

Empathy means understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. An empathic person can also do this without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in a physical manner ; also : the capacity for this

So you show empathy and ready comprehension of other people states. For example you are aware that someone needs something and helps them get it.

Also be fun, if you do fun things and share those experiences with others by telling stories with them and letting people join you it is a good way. However you have to do fun things and enjoy doing them to be able to do this.

People often do not care if a person is good or bad, just if they are charming or tedious.

Never tell people they are wrong

Highly advanced people want other people to say when they are wrong but these people are few and far between. Also this should only be done when the person really need to know that because what they are wrong about is relevant.

For the fast majority of people they want to know they are right and not that they are wrong about anything. This is to the smallest tiniest degree.

People want to know how to they are very right they are and how good it is they are right about it.

However be careful of flattery which is telling people how great they are, or something they have is, for insincere reasons, or telling them that something is great when it is not.

So only tell someone it’s great when it is and also only for the right reasons. Needs to be done because that you want someone to be well and good. It must not be not because you selfishly want something from them, or even worse that you are being dishonest with them to get it.

Being fun

Need to be fun for people to want to be with you, that is what you are, play games, joke and enjoy being with others like a party. People will want to be you because it is like fun at a party.

However people who are in that mood are not reliable and organised. People are often wanting to be with such people, like sales people can be like this. However they are no good at actually producing things, because doing those things is boring. People do not want to be with people who are boring.

So need to be able to change from being fun and enjoying yourself when want people to want to be with you. To being focused determined and organised, when things actually need to be done.

Happy and Joy

People want to be around people who are happy and have joy.

Have a look at Britney Spears, she is happy and full of joy, that’s why people want to be around her.

She’s enjoying things, and the things she does.

So when you have a performer or dancer, they’re enjoying themselves. Other people will only enjoy whatever you do, if you are as well.