A son wants
▪Attention
▪Affection
▪Approval

from their father, without these a son cannot bond with his father.

This is especially important so the son can identify with his father, so feel well comfortable and like the concept of masculinity and being masculine.

Getting a connection with your children:

▪doing with them what they want to do
▪spending the time with them
▪listening to what they have to say about what interests them

Then when they are adults and you are older, they will want to be with you.

Important to do when younger and especially pre teens, once a teenager they will want to be with their friends and not you.

The quality or condition of being humble, modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.

Humility is very powerful, if you humble yourself towards someone, they will help you with whatever you ask. It is like you are serving the person you are being humble towards.

If a person talks about themselves and shows off about themselves, people will hate them as it makes other people feel small and ignored.

Someone who is sad, bent over, looking up at the other person, hands open in the begging position, it is very powerful.

People become sympathetic, compassionate and want to help someone who is worthy and in such need.

A person is either:
▪self serving by saying how wonderful they are and showing off.
▪serving others, without thinking of, talking and showing off about themselves.  

It all comes down to someone serving others, or serving themselves. 

The most powerful thing is when somebody gives incredible service, but does not run around saying how wonderful they are.

Be careful of mockery though, that people giving you things because you behave like a clown, like an idiot. It is not about putting yourself down, it is about not showing off.

However be careful of using humility to get things, if someone feels sorry for you, and you are getting sympathy, compassion and they are giving things to you. It does not mean they want to be with you and probably will not want to be with you. Just like how out of charity people will give things to a beggar in the street, but not want to be with.

Arrogance

Although a person should think they are good and capable. A person should not think they are better than others just for their own satisfaction, especially if results in life show that they are not.

People want to win, be the best, so they want to think they are better than others. They think they are better than others, just because they like it and so indulge in that thinking.

This is especially dangerous as it prevents them from learning things from other people who actually are better than them. They think they are better than people who are actually better than them. As a result they do not learn from those other people.

Coping mechanism

Arrogance, showing off, talking about oneself and putting down others, is often a wall used by rubbish people to defend themselves as they cannot cope with not thinking they are better than others.

They are too nervous to let go of this rubbish and just be themselves.

They cannot cope with just being themselves, so they falsely fantasise and pretend they are better than others, to be able to cope.

However this creates a wall between them and other people, which leads to them not being able to communicate through that wall. People can only connect with other people and others respond to them if there is the real person.

Being humble does lead a person to be open to other people, at the mercy of others and many people cannot cope with that.

So need to be humble with God and with good people, but not so much with bad people as need to protect oneself.

Creativity needs a person to have break the rules for how people think things should be done.

Most people do not think,  or look deeply and things.  They just do things the way they have always been done.  First need to find out real reason why thing is done that way, once found out why, then can normally find way to do it better.

Never just assume things.

Curiosity, wanting to make things better and solve problems in life and questioning everything are important.

Spiritually

Creativity is a high up spiritual thing, not just getting earthly commonly done stuff. Creating is actually creating something new that was not there or done before. To do this need to care about others, God and focus on creativity and creating.

Most people are not creative as just want things for themselves. So they end up just copying and follow others. This selfishness just ends up in a person taking and just thinking what can get for themselves.

Worry is often a selfish ego thing where a person is just thinking about their own wants.

A person can worry about others, but then the worry is not so in excess, which is what causes the problems. It also tends to be more constructive.

When a person is thinking about how to do things, then it is not worry. Worry is when a person is thinking about if they will get the result or not. So worry is about thinking about the reward, which is of course the reverse of just getting on with being constructive.

The ego is just thinking about it’s wants.

The ego just does routine, habits, customs, traditions, so nothing new is thought out it is just repeating.

As a result it is just using up energy and not creating or working out anything new.

The answer is to look and ask yourself if ?

▪these thoughts are constructive and finding a solution, or just worry.

▪it is something you can change, if it is not then advise yourself to stop worrying about it.

▪a person has a choice whether they are going to worry about things. A person can choose just not to do so.
How worry makes a person look in front of other people

Worry makes a person looks less able and capable. This is because it if the person is worrying about something, that evidently means they cannot do it, or are not good at it.

By a person focusing on their worries, they are focusing others on things they cannot do, which is like focusing other people on their negative points.

It also makes a person looks weak, people worry about their weak spots and flaws, worrying is higlighing them.

A person can be worried about something and still look generally cool. This is because so much is going well and great in their life, that the worry is just one thing, so in relative terms it is not much and they still look good.

Panic

A good way to not panic is realising that panic does not help. It actually makes it worse.

Don’t worry about things that are inevitable

Don’t don’t worry about things that you can’t change.

Don’t worry about things that are inevitable.

You are eventually going to die, that is inevitable.

Worrying is a luxury you cannot afford

Worrying uses up a lot of energy, it means that you’re less good at doing things because you’re spending so much energy and time on worrying.

Often people who worry a lot are people who can afford not to do things. For example people who come from a background with lots of money, they can get away with not working quite as hard.

So just be aware that worrying is a luxury you cannot afford, because it uses up so much thinking, emotional and so on resources, and that should reduce the worry.

Emotions are higher than feelings.

Emotions last longer, feelings are more transient.
Energy

Emotions are energy like petrol for a car, people who oppress their emotions tend to lack of energy.

When a person gets happy, sad, angry and so on it is energy.

When a person with strong emotions gets angry, other people are scarred of and so very cautious with them.

When there is an argument, it is the person with the strongest emotions that wins. That is their destructive force and power.

When a person with a weak emotion gets angry, no one is worried.
Emotions are senses of the soul

Emotions enable a person to feel if what they are doing is good or bad, right or wrong.

If it is bad, they will feel it is bad and that it is causing bad emotions.

A person who wants to do evil, often oppresses their emotions to help them do this, so they do not feel the hurt, pain, hate, anger, guilt, regret and so on that comes from doing evil.
The world is one

When a person with strong emotions is happy everyone else in the room feels happy.

When a person with strong emotions is angry, everyone else in the room gets angry and does not know why.
Managing emotions

Emotions need to be left to run free, like a river. If they are blocked of oppressed it lead to problems. Even worse if a person denies their importance.

However there are times a person needs to control themselves in times when their emotions are not right for a situation and even gently effect emotions.

For example if a person is angry, it is a good idea not to take decisions until after it has passed, decisions made from wrath end in disaster. Although of course if a person needs to fight, they need anger for the emotion to fuel the fighting.

If a person is angry and goes to a party, their anger will leak onto other people, other people will be annoyed with them and not know why.

To effect your emotions:
▪imagine you have different emotions
▪try changing your posture and
▪try changing your breathing

However before doing any of these, make sure you fully know what the above and your emotions normally are, so you can get back to your who you really are, your natural state. If not the person will be stuck in this unnatural state and not able to get back to who they really are, which of course would be a disaster.

However using these, a person can move their emotions to be happy sad angry and so on.

Ultimately a person needs to let their emotions be well and free. However when needed they need to control their emotions, not their emotions control them.
Relating to people

People can relate to and feel comfortable with people who have the same emotions as them. As a result of these are the people they will have a close connection to and like to be with.

People often dislike other people who have different emotions to themselves, because they are different to them.
Passion

A person can only be successful at something if they are passionate about it. This is like saying a car well when it has petrol in it and it has an engine that can use that petrol.

Passion is when there is a lot of emotion.

However morally it must be a passion to do things for others, not a passion just to have someone for oneself.

Big emotions

When energy comes down from above, it is neutral, not happy, sad, angry and so on.

However the type of person and what they are going through, causes it to becomes one of these emotions.

Emotions are the energy behind what a person is and so socially are a big thing. The more powerful a persons emotions are the more powerful they are. When a person walks into a room or does anything, an ingredient to who is the most powerful person and amazing person is the person with the strongest emotions.

To get strong emotions:
▪let the emotions flow, nurture them and do not control them so much
▪meditate, become conscious and ponder them.
▪a person gets what they need, just like how doing physical work means the body gets more muscles and fitness. Doing things that need more emotions, means a person gets better, more and stronger emotions.
▪A person gets the emotions and energies that’s a deserve and need. So if the person does a lot in life they will be blessed with lots of energies. If they does evil, they will not be given so much energy.
• Need to be challenged: just like a physical muscle only grows when it is challenged by lifting heavy weights. Emotions grow when they are faced with a challenge that needs strong emotions. Such as managing large amounts of, challenging and difficult people and situations. Arguments, building large physical object. Having to get other people to be peaceful which needs lots of peaceful emotions which will spread, enimate, grow and effect things.

A person cannot cope with more energy than they can handle, so the more energy one gets, the bigger a person’s vessel is to be able to cope with it. So a person’s vessel can grow over time.

It can be seen how a person cannot cope, when they have more emotional energy than they can handle.

The emotions and feelings are a body in themselves which effect the physical body. Signs a person has weak emotions are:
●They slouch, do not stand up straight and do not sit up straight

Why some not have powerful emotions

Emotions can be painful and unpleasant, far more so than physical pain, as the psychological world is so much greater than the physical. This is why many people do not let themselves have them.

People who do immoral things are especially prone to repressing, or not facing their emotions. This is because of the regret, guilt and other painful feelings and emotions that sooner or later come from such actions, which they do not want to face and cope with.

Institutions which ask people to follow orders that might be morally wrong, get people to oppresses, or not look at their emotions. This is so they cannot feel that the orders are wrong and so they will follow them.

Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. People happy when get something and sad when lose something. So sadness is going to happen anyway.

People who get incredibly happiness, also get incredible sadness. By going so high up with happiness the rollercoaster has to come down as well. These are the people who end up being manic depressive.

A good way to be is gently happy.

People often use alcohol, sugar, caffeine and other drugs as a way of coping with sadness, it is not just because they want happiness. Sadly though this just puts it off to a later date, when the drug has worn off.

A way to cope with sadness, is to see it as part of the tapestry,.

Another way is to look at the beauty in sadness, which makes it more capable with.

A person basically needs to have courage to be able to cope with emotions and that is why it is so hard to be a real and good actor

Having a heart

The heart on the psychological and spiritual level is where the emotions come from, or to be more precise energy comes down from the higher worlds and becomes emotions.

To have big, good and wonderful emotions which makes a person lovable, need to have a big heart. This means that on an emotional level the person cares about others as much as they care about themselves. So they become, kind, compassionate etc. on an emotional level, so have a big heart.

Caring is an emotional thing, so a way to become more caring can also be worked on, on an emotional and feeling level of sympathy and compassion.

A person with a cold heart, so does not care about others, has no sympathy, compassion and love is not lovable, likeable or easy to be with.

Social and the emotions

Giving a person a compliment or love is an emotional thing, so is about generating these emotions, the emotions and feelings behind it, which are more than just the basic word said. That is another reason my emotions are so important in social skills.

If a person says a compliment to somebody else, but has hate in their heart, it is actually more unpleasant for the recipient.

To be effective at speaking, a person has to have strong emotions and feelings, otherwise there is nothing there and people will not even notice you are speaking.

To be interesting person also needs to talk about situations where there are strong emotions and feelings.

Admitting that you have a problem means you are halfway to solving it.

Happines from morality

Happiness comes from a clear conscience.

Happiness comes from doing good, sadness comes from having done evil.

God is happy with people when they do good, angry and sad with people, when they do evil. This makes people happy when they do good and not happy when they do evil.

People get what they need when they do good and so have a happy life. They do not when they do bad.

Gaining something by bad means never leads to long term happiness. It always has to be paid for and that includes feelings of guilt.

Comedians are often very sad people, because in the short term they think they can get happiness by putting other people down, so they think in relative terms they are better than others. However they are hurting other people, which in the long run gives them hurt and pain.

It is also because they get laughs as people are laughing at them and this is not nice for them.

Happiness from having things

People are happy when they gain, sad when they loose. So if someone bases their happiness on having things, it is never good in then long run as all physical rewards must pass.

Happiness and sadness are then two sides of the same coin as Kahlil Gibran says in his book ‘The Prophet. So cannot have one without at some time getting the other.

Far better to base your happiness on doing the right thing and a relationship with god.

All physical things give happiness when gained, but as they are impermanent will eventually pass away leading to sadness from loosing them. So in the short term physical things give happiness, in the long time people are no better off for having had them.

However god is permanent, doing good is God’s way, so it is the right thing.

Even emotions and feelings are impermanent, so not as important as God.

Doing good means you get what you need on all levels.

Dis satisfaction means you cannot be satisfied so are not happy. So sadness comes from wanting more than you have, so the more you want to have, the harder it is for you to be satisfied and the less happy you will be.

Wanting things is painful if not have what you want.

Depression

A person may be depressed but by looking at the good things they have done, they can stop being depressed.

Even the humblest person may have worked to support their children, done a good job at work, been kind to someone.

It does not have to be big, just something that has benefited the needs and welfare of others.

Ultimately the world needs to be a better place, for you having been there.

Sadness from wanting things

A person can be sad because they do not have what they want.

So the less the person wants, the easier it is for them to be happy. When a person is released from wanting something they cannot have, so they no longer have a desire for it, they become happy.

This is also because by not wanting it, they are not attached to it, so become free.

Enlightenment which reduces a person’s desire to have material things, will therefore make them happier.

Being depressed from mocking other people

People mock others because they want it to be that
▪they are better than others.
▪what they have is better than others.

However by hating others and what other people have, they are surrounded with with things they dislike.

When we look at things we love such as a beautiful woman, object, car, it makes us happy.

However by a person hating things and saying they are rubbish, they are surrounding themselves with things they do not like which will make them unhappy.

Stress and strain

Stress and strain means you are focusing on these on unpleasant things. This means that the person is not happy.

Also by focusing on stress and strains a person does not see the beautiful, wonderful; joyous things in life and get to enjoy them.

Satisaction

A person will not be happy if they want more than they have.

So if a person has all they want, then they will be happy.

If a person wants a lot more than they can easily get, then they will have a lot of stress, strain in trying vto get it, which can lead to unhappiness and anger

However even if a person does not want much, as everything below God is impermanent then eventually they will be sad as even that will go.

If a person does not want anything for themselves, then there will be no attachment, so there will be peace, happiness etc.

Coping with sadness

To help cope with sadness and even depression, see the beauty in it.

Sadness comes and goes, it is not permanent.

Sadness is energy, use the energy.

A person can choose where their happiness comes from, they can choose it to come from a particular hobby, lifestyle choice etc. Best for it to come from service and inner things. Need to not let outside things destroy happiness.

The middle way of happiness, being gently happy, avoids the constant ups and downs. This is because a person wanting excess can never be truly happy, as then the person can never have enough. Also the ups must come to downs, so best to have a middle way.
The happiness needed means have what needs, is manageable and worthy.

We are naturally happy

A person’s natural home is God, as in being with God.

As people we are naturally happy.

So need to just not let anything get in the way of your happiness.

A person can be happy, by just not letting events, people, desires, problems and so on, get in the way of them being naturally happy.

Responsibility

People who aim for happiness are often do not take responsibility. This also means that often do not take the time to learn develop etc.

Responsibility is not fun, can be boring, is stressful and a strain. It is often the buzz kill that stops the fun, because the responsible thing means the fun thing cannot be done, or done instead of doing fun things. The fun things can even be irresponsible.

However in the long term if people do not take responsibility, their lives do not go well, because they are not able to achieve and do things and get the reward that come from being responsible.

I’m the long term they do nothing and life falls apart.

In the end it is best to be responsible, but still take time out to have fun.

Achievement and creating things

People often think they will get happiness from having things, the biggest satisfaction comes from creating things, so a job well done that is a result for people.

An example could be fixing a tap for someone in the home, or building something for somebody. A real sense of achievement.

Enjoyment

It is easy to think that enjoyment is happiness, when it is not. Enjoyment is deriviing pleasure from having the thing.
This is not happiness, happiness comes from being good and not succumbing to evil. Happines is also from how a person is and how they are, which is from not what they have.

It is easy to think that enjoyment is happines, when it is not.

Selfishly wanting happiness makes you depressed or less happy

When selfishly wanting something, you are clouded and get it less.

With things involving selfish lust, you are less happy.

A bit like how people in beauty salons selfishly wanting to be attractive, look ugly selfishly when they are selfishly wanting to be pretty.

When you selfishly want something you are clouded by your selfishness, so get it less.

If you work towards something you will get it, but that work is not selfish lust, it is doing work which is different.

If you do things to make others happy, you will be happier, as long as you are making them happy by giving them things that are genuinely good for them.

Basic concepts

Softness and openess is being nice to someone. Soft is to be gentle, nice like it is going to be good and nice to things.

Hardness and being closed is being nasty to someone.  

Spikey sharp features are to be hurtful to people, eg lifting top lip to show front top incisors.  Also sharp movements.

Height is good and capable. High up is seen as good, right. 

Low down is seen as bad, wrong, incapable.

(Please note with the voice, low can be seen as masculine and strong which is necessary for a man and situations where aggression is needed)

Open is to be nice and let people in, or giving of what have to others.

Closed is to block others from getting in, or from getting things from yourself. Closed is not giving things from yourself or giving things away.

Movement:

Jerky movements with fast starts and stops are aggressive. It can be from fear as that leads to aggression.

Soft, slow, gentle movements with gentle starts and finishes are seen and felt as benevolent.

Often a sign of intelligence is not to move at all, basically when there is no reason to.  Moving excessively can be because are stressed, or just lack of ability to control ones body as are less intelligent and capable.

Implementation of those concepts

Facial expressions

A benevolent friendly face:

▪Wide open eyes
▪Soft muscles all over your face
▪Open mouth (but not too much)
▪High up cheek muscles, top of your eyelids. Also lift up your eyebrows a bit.
▪High up sides up of your mouth to make a smile. Do not want to especially lift up top centre of mouth where incisor teeth are, as these pointy sharp teeth are sign of aggression. A great smile needs the sides of the mouth to be really high up, after doing this for a while, the muscles at the side of the mouth really hurt, it takes time to be able to build up these muscles.

Stupid and boring face:

▪Top of eyelids dropped down like asleep
▪Eyes looking downwards
▪Mouth generally low and dropping downwards
▪Head dropping downwards like asleep

So it is basically things falling down, you are not lifting them up as like you are asleep.

Love:

A smile where the sides of a person’s mouth are really high up giving a huge grin, does not necessarily mean that a person is giving others’ love. It means the person is happy, which is not quite the same emotion.

A smile means that the person is happy and all is well. When used in the context of another person or thing, it means that they are well.

To give love a person needs to have the sides of their mouth raised, but doing it loads means the person is very happy, not that they are giving love.
Raise the top of your upper eyelids so it is like you are looking up to the person you are talking to.

This also creates openness of the eyes, so you are being open, soft with them, letting them in, letting your good energies and so on come out to them, being friendly and giving to them. attention.

Looking good:

▪Harmonious emotion.
▪Not expressions that contort the face, so a look of love is great, but a massive huge grin like a massive smile contorts the face.

Looking young:

Face:
•Things higher, so the mouth eyelids, eyebrows, cheek muscles higher.
•Softer so muscles relaxed, because age toughens things.
•Can move things with ease, quickly and with energy. This is because are younger so have more energy.

Body:
•Parts of the body higher as when get older, get weaker so carry parts of the •Body lower.
•Muscles soft.
•Move with ease, no straining especially as muscles are softer and easier.
•Move with energy, if you are older a person can only keep this up for so long.

Basically for looking younger, a person looks like they have more energy. So more energy is used up and an older person have to be careful.

Posture

Posture is very powerful, it expresses emotions, thoughts, relationshop to others, health, size, spirit, connection to God and all kinds of things.

For example a person standing straight and tall signifies they are at the top of the social hierarchy, in charge.

A person bent over, not standing straight denotes they might be a servant being told what to do.

This is because the person higher up is giving the orders, the person lower down is being told what to do.