A lot of pain comes from emotional trauma as a child. You repeat the pattern in different ways but it all comes from the same thing.
Invite the pain in, sit with it and ask it what you can learn from it. What does it want?
Make sure you don’t do a relationships just to get validation of yourself and escapism from yourself, as then you weren’t truly connecting with somebody and have intimacy.
Become aware of your psychological pain, this will help guide you through your life of knowing what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing.
You may be doing something that on the physical level gives you pleasure, but if you look at your psyche it’s causing your pain.
This is a great way to know what you really should be doing.