Social Skills (competitiveness)

Competing with people means not making friends.

A person likes to know people who are like themselves.

Being friends is about mutual empathy, so experiencing things together, comunity, togetherness, sharing, service.

‘Do not walk in front as I may not follow, do not walk behind as I may not lead, just be beside me and be my friend’.

When a person competes with another and wins, the looser hates the winner as they did not get it.  It also shows the looser that the winner is better than them, which the looser will hate them for. As a result they will not want to be friends.  

So having a better car and so on will lead to the person with the less good car hating them.

A person may think that others will want to get to know them if they have a better car than them, are more famous etc.  Yes other people who have less will want to be with them for a while to experience these things, but once they are bored of those things will not want to be actual long term friends as they are too different.

They also want to have those things and will probably hate the person for having more than they do. It is right not be be jealous and be happy for others having things, but people who manage that are a small minority.

So winning, being the best and showing it off is a selfish thing for a person and not about making friends.

Of course it is good to create and a person may get great rewards, but showing them off to people with less will not make friends of them.

To make a friend, be like them and so they can relate to you, be with you.

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